What do you do when you have two days off of school and work and a huge and powerful storm is in the Gulf of Mexico headed straight for you? Go to Wal-Mart. The Cult of Sam's Choice beckoned to me to make a pilgrimage to indulge in rows and rows of low-priced pieces of crap.
The aisles that are normally well stocked with batteries, bread, water, flashlights, candles, and tape are desolate and bare. I; however, am not concerned as are the rest of the residents of south Louisiana with such things... I came for real survival supplies. I'm talking about the good stuff... a bag of doritos, some oreos and milk, and 3-ring binders... lots and lots of 3-ring binders. You never know when you may need a 3-ring binder. Such things are essential in times of doom and mass destruction.
I made a ritual stop in the frozen food section to select my pet lobster. I picked the one with the big pretty claws cause he was sitting on top of all the other ones. One day I will save Pinchy from his overcrowded acrylic cage and give him a nice HOT bath... and a good home... right next to some dipping sauce.
Oh and don't forget the impulse purchases that tempted me as I checked-out with my survival necessities, such as the boob bra-inserts (*rolls eyes* oh yeah like I REALLY need those) or that nifty plastic laser sword (Batteries not included and good luck finding any).
So all that hard preperation, mass chaos, and panic... and we didn't get a single drop of rain... or enough wind to blow that $10 kite of mine... *sigh*
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