12.26.2005

I Missed Out

article
Where was I when this happened?!? This would
have been an awesome Christmas present.


POTTER BROOM RATTLES PARENTS

THE "Harry Potter" toy broomstick from Mattel has a vibrating feature that has proven to be too popular with teenage girls.
The "Nimbus 2000" is a plastic battery-powered replica of the broom used in Quidditch matches by J.K. Rowling's boy wizard in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." The $19.99 toy features a "grooved stick and handle for easy riding," according to Toysrus.com, and, "enhancing the excitement are the vibrating effects."

The Web site's review section is full of comments from parents who are amazed at the toy's popularity with their young daughters. One mom who bought the broom for her son writes that his sister frequently "fights him over it" and complains that "the batteries drain too fast." Another notes, "When my 12-year-old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to love it." An equally enthusiastic parent marvels that "even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick!"

One astute New Jersey mom says of her daughter: "It wasn't until after she opened her gift and started playing with it that I realized the toy may offer a more than sensational experience. The broomstick has cute sound effects and vibrates . . . what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed."

"As always, the well-being of children is our top priority," Mattel rep Sara Rosales told PAGE SIX's Jared Paul Stern. "And we in no way consider this toy to be inappropriate."

12.19.2005

Super Cheese

Georgia girls are pretty,
Vandy girls are smart,
But it takes an LSU girl
to win a fellow's heart!
Tennessee girls are easy,
Florida girls have flow,
But when you want the best of the best,
LSU is where you go!
Bama girls are wild,
Auburn girls are fun,
But LSU girls are TIGER girls,
they are #1!
Any man who reads this,
he probably already knows.
If has an LSU girl,
he should never let her go!

12.15.2005

I'm Dreaming

Dry Erase Board
My Dry Erase Board at work... I had to cut down
on my swirlies to make it legible.


... of a white Christmas. I won't have time to send out my Christmas cards this year. Which saves me about $45 in stamps alone. I know this will make some people sad, esp. since my Christmas cards are waaaaaay more special than anyone else's, but Cynthia needs a vacation.

I'll be heading up to see my brother, his girlfriend, and his future in-laws in New Jersey for the holidays. I'm flying to NYC on the 20th and I'll be back in town on the 3rd. Special memories will be made and fun will be had by all. I'll get to play in the snow for the first time ever and I can't tell you how incredibly happy I'll be to experience something so wonderful. Cold but happy.

Unfortunately, I also probably won't have internet access, that remains yet to be seen... but just so you know, I may be unreachable via the www until I get back, unless I can hack into a neighbor's wireless network or find a local coffee shop with wi-fi.

If I don't get to see you before I leave, I hope you have a very happy holiday. Now, if you excuse me, I have to leave in about a week so that means I need to get started packing.

12.13.2005

Uh Oh

I met my friend Stephen today for lunch. It was great except for the fact that I had to leave the restaurant without giving our waitress a tip and although I feel really bad about that, we practically only saw her when she was there to get our order. I had to go find her for ketchup and then as we sat at our table for 30 minutes when we were done, I finally flagged down another waitress to get our check and boxes (which they didn't have any so our waitress gave me a tiny styrofoam tub... nice). Well, our waitress walks up to the table about 10 minutes later and instead of being apologetic for making us wait for drinks, ketchup, check ect. says "Are ya'll looking for me?" in a very hurried and rude manner. She got our change as the tip... a whoooole 2 cents. Which in my opinion, is two cents more than what she really earned.

Anyways, shortly after I got back to my desk I recieved a call on my cell phone from an unregistered number. I answered the phone and heard a very abrupt female voice. She said, "Ms. Daigle, this is Officer Jenkins with the Sherrif's Department, where are you located right now?" I was kinda stunned by the question and replied, "uhhhhhhh at work." She replied with, "Well, we just needed to make sure where you are.", said goodbye, and hung up.

About a thousand questions shot through my brain within 3 seconds... the first one being, "Damn they caught me." The second being, "hmmmmmm... I wonder if that was REALLY the Sherrif's Office." So I *google* the number. Yeap, it was them alright.

So, I just sat at my desk waiting for them to come get me when my phone rangs again. It's the same number. I answered it with a curious sounding "Hello?". Officer Jenkins was back. This time she begansto explain her earlier phone call.

APPARENTLY, my mother was at home taking a bath in the back bedroom when she heard banging around in the kitchen and living room area of the house. Knowing she was supposed to be home alone, she freaked out, ran and locked her own bedroom door. She then drug the very large chest of drawers in front of the door and proceeded to call 911. She was certain that there was a man in the house. The Sherrif Office called me to make sure that I wasn't just home early from work.

I was informed that an officer had been dispatched to the house and found the intruder... our very own bassett hound, whom is a house dog by the way. That's right, my mother called the police on my dog.

Image019
Doesn't she look like a serious threat to all humanity?

I can only imagine what the Officer was thinking when he arrived on the scene.

12.12.2005

Cloud Oddities

I was driving to work and the clouds were weird... so I took a picture or two.

Clouds1
Clouds2

Yes. my life is very boring. And Yes. I really have nothing better to do.

12.11.2005

MMMMMMMMMMMMM

... I have to admit. Damn this bowl of ice cream was delicious.

Ice cream

So much so that I must write a blog about it. 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream... a half gallon of chocolate syrup. Chopped up nuts and real cool whip on top. None of that nasty whipped cream that taste like air out of a can stuff. REAL COOL WHIP! You know... out of the plastic tub container like what your momma used to make cereal bowls out of when you were little (and poor).

THIS is what life is worth living for. I'm so grateful for moo cows.

12.06.2005

Kittens, On Defrost

Alright so here's the deal. You probably think I'm a sicko just by reading the title but really you're the sicko if you thought I meant I was going to write about defrosting Kittens. In fact, I'm simply going to put up some pictures of the new kittens that are so adorable but not quite photogenic. But before I do that, I'm going to tell you a completely separate story about the defrost in my car. See... one post... two completely separate stories.

So anyways, I've owned my Saturn about 3.5-4 years now... And I JUST now figured out how to set the defrost so that I can actually see where I'm going on cold evenings. Before, I just had to turn it on and then lean over to the middle of the windshield where the only part of it was clear. I asked several people at the very beginning of every winter how to use defrost thinking there was some magical combination of cool air on the outside vs. warm air on the inside. So I would put on the defrost setting and then experiment, to no avail. WEEEELLLL, nobody told me not only did you have to put it on the defrost setting, but you need to turn off air circulation inside the car (that's a completely separate button that has nothing to do with defrost... or so I thought.) Many thanks go to the engineer in the office next to mine for enlightening me. I was getting ready to spend another winter with a cramped neck.

So now heeeeeeere's the kittens.

Kitten1

Kitten2

Kitten3

Kitten5

Kitten6

Kitten7

Kitten4

12.02.2005

Who Writes This Stuff

My fortune cookie from lunch today said "Promote Literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today."...

*scratches head quizically*

Eat Me

Don't Eat Me

A little conflicting don't ya think?

12.01.2005

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was born. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right arms.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck taketh away.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.