The Big One

1. What is your astrological sign?
• Cancer

2. Do you have the traits of your sign?
• I've been told that I "must be a Cancer" before the person actually knew I was a Cancer. I have to admit, those little thingies have me nailed most of the time.

3. If you could be one food what would you be?
• Fruit Loops. Do I even need to explain why?

4. How many of your MySpace friends do you actually know or have met?
• Wow I haven't a clue. Okay, I may have to research this real quick. BRB
Okay... I actually know 15 people. There there are 5 close friends that I've actually never met, mostly due to long distances. So 20 out of 60, I'm really friends with, that's not too bad.

5. What is your dream job?
• Professional napper.

6. Do you want to get married?
• Uhhh I have to answer yes to this right? I mean if I don't, that would probably make everyone think I was a little thrown off.

7. Would you ever pose nude for a photograph?
• As in "nude" or as in "in the nude"... there is a difference you know.

8. What's the last movie you watched?
• Hmmmm I watched the Muppets take Manhattan as I was drifting off into sleepyland. As you could imagine, it severely affected my mental state upon reaching the dream state.

9. What is your normal bedtime?
• Anywhere from 8pm to 2am

10. Do you dream in color?
• What other options are there... black and white, sepia, negative... full color sucks more brainpower... so that's generally what I go for.

11. What is your shoe size?
• Anywhere from a 3 in Children's and Men's to a 5.5 in Womens

12. Is your second toe longer than your big toe?
• They are right about the same width... but if I concentrate and stretch... it really doesn't help.

13. Are you addicted to anything?
• Sex and ink pens

14. Do you have any pets?
• 1 2" turtle, and 1 50" basset hound

15. What kind of deodorant do you use?
• Secret. PS. while answering this question someone asked me how my nad was doing. Jeff, I almost snorted. They meant hand, my hand was hurting.

16. Do you collect anything?
• I dry any roses I get, I keep all movie ticket stubs, pretty much anything any typical girl would consider sentimental.

17. Mac or PC?
• I've sold my soul to a piece of fruit. I shall do its bidding and destroy Microsoft.

18. Do you eat sushi?
• Never in this lifetime.

19. Cold or hot natured?
• I prefer to stay on the warm side of things, the only exception is that when I sleep I stick my feet out from under the covers to keep cool. They regulate the rest of my body's temperature.

20. Do you have tan lines?
• Kinda hard to have tan lines when you can't seem to get a tan.

21. Do you have a webpage?
• I've been working on that seemingly forever... someday. For right now I just have MySpace and my Blog.

22. What time is it?
• 8pm.

23. What do you wear to bed?
• *blush* nothing.

24. What is your occupation?
• Graphic Designer (professional doodler and button pusher).

25. Do you like porn?
• I find it to be very boring actually... is that weird?

26. Any wine recommendations?
• Yes... as high a pitch as possible. You'll get what you want faster that way.

27. Do you consider yourself artistic?
• no, not really. haha. I just have a Fine Arts degree... but you know they hand those out to just anyone.

28. Are your arms hairy?
• Only when I haven't shaved them for a few days... Yes I shave my arms. Shut up.

29. Do you like video games?
• Not really... I prefer to waste my time answering the same questions over and over.

30. Favorite place to scrump?
• Well sometimes I scrump in the bathroom, sometimes I scrump at the post office. Occasionally I go to Wal-Mart specifically to scrump... although my favorite scrumping time is around Christmas, then I scrump all over town.

31. Favorite online forum?
• I stick to habitually reading everyone else's blogs.

32. How many keys are on your keychain?
• HAHAHA. Why don't ya'll ask Chad that. I'm sure he could come up with some smart-a** response.

33. How often do you travel?
• Everyday... except for those rare occasions when I don't move the entire day.

34. What are your best travel related memories?
• We had the banana. That's what we called Dad's yellow Nissan Pick-up. It wasn't bright yellow, it really was that creamy banana yellow. Had a camper on top with benches built into the back that converted to a flat bed. That's what we took when we went on a trip when I was younger.

35. Have you ever used an iron?
• I wouldn't say I "used" it, moreso, attempted to use it unsuccessfully. Have I ever mentioned how useless I am at "domestic" tasks.

36. How many languages do you speak?
• I claim only English but I have been attempting to communicate with marsupials lately.

37. How many continents have you been on?
• Sadly, just this one.

38. Are you happy with where you currently live?
• Yes, but living so far out in the country sucks on my wallet dry when it comes to having to get gas to go to work and stuff.

39. Do you normally carry chapstick or lip balm on you?
• Everytime I do, it ends up melted in the bottom of my purse... so as a rule I try not to have it with me.

40. Have you ever been in an accident?
• I couldn't even begin to list them all... most of the time I was just a passenger. The two that I was actually directly involved with were basically... people running into me while I wasn't moving. So not my fault *woohoo*

41. Favorite type of shoes?
• Comfortable sandals or sexy heels.

42. Do you regularly consume alcohol?
• Nope, I'm purely a social drinker. A very light one.

43. Ever been spit on by a camel?
• If by camel you mean, baby australian squirrel, yes.

44. What's your IQ?
• Does it count against your IQ point if you can't remember?

45. Favorite season?
• Christmas time... I like the squishy way I feel inside... all warm and fuzzy.

46. Do you like push pops?
• What's a push pop?

47. Have you ever been to a rave?
• Sometimes, I turn on my Ipod and close my eyes while the electronic music flows through my head. That doesn't really count I know, but it's as close as it gets.

48. What's the strangest or most interesting location for a party?
• I'm gonna have to go with the set of The Goonies. That looked like a pretty nifty place for a Halloween party.

49. Do you like or respect graffiti?
• I really appreciate the talent that goes into it... unless of course... it sucks.

50. What is your favorite magazine?
• Sports Illustrated is my only paid subscription.

1. Your name spelled backwards:
• elgiad eener aihtnyc

2. Where were your parents born?
• Mom was raised in Norwood Louisiana, I assume born in Mississippi. Dad was raised in Port Allen, probably born in Baton Rouge. I'm really not sure.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
• Drivers for my wacom tablet.

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
• Anyplace with good seafood.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
• I went tubing down the Amite. I know its not a pool, but it is a body of water.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
• I have been in a ton of plays and musicals for Church. I was always cast as the Virgin Mary. But the most memorable was when I was in a play about the Black Bear... which is an endangered species. My 5th grade teacher was a nut so she wrote this play and somehow it attracted so much local attention that we did it once a week for almost 3 months for a full audience.

7. How many kids do you want?
• Zero. Next.

8. Type of music you dislike most?
• I'm gonna have to go with drunken country.

9. Are you registered to vote?
• Sure am. I'm a non-conventional RE-PUB-LI-CAN

10. Do you have cable?
• Yes. Until they find out that I'm not a student anymore... then we'll see what happens.

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
• No, I'm holding out for my flying horse.

12. Ever prank call anybody?
• I've pranked answered. My old number ended with 0001 and was ironically one digit off from the local Domino's. *sigh* those were the good ole days.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
• Light Pink

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
• Yeah Dumbo and I used to sneak behind the Bearded Ladies tent and toke it up.

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
• lol Yes. My senior year in high school. What WAS I thinking?!?

26. Orange Juice or apple?
• It depends on which day you catch me on, but most of the time neither. Chocolate milk baby. *mooooooo*

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
• I think the last time I went somewhere and ate dinner with someone, it was Chad and Jeff at Parrins. It is a Cajun/Seafood/Steak place.

28. Favorite type of chocolate bar?
• I'm a Snickers kinda girl.

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
• I was first in line at my precinct at 5 am in the morning to vote for Bush in the 2004 Presidental Election

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
• *ugh* I've been permanently damaged ever since I was a little girl concerning tomatoes. Don't you know those things attack with the intent to kill!?!

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
• I have boxes full of baseball trophies. There's a few others... but the most unusual has to be the Ostrich egg on a stick. It was the "Good Egg Award" given to the most outstanding student when I was in elementary school. I was nominated ever year, but they always drew out of a hat. So I only won it once.

32. Are you a good cook?
• Is burning considered a form of cooking?

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
• LOL just don't squeeze me too hard.

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
• No. If there's something I like, eventually a form of it will end up in a store sometime or later. In that case, I have a clapper, one of those reachie-grabbie thingies for short people, and one of those Ionic Breeze thingies.

35. Sprite or 7-up?
• It's not one of my favorite drinks. But when I was 16 and working at McDonalds, I discovered it was better if you put some of the Strawberry drink in it.

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
• Only for the afore mentioned McDonalds job. Occasionally I would have to dress up for my other jobs, but there was no standard. Just appropriately. Of course, my job now... I think I could walk in there naked and nobody would care... cause typically. Nobody's there besides me anyways.

37. Last thing you bought at a Walgreens?
• An emergency curling iron for my hair.

38. Ever thrown up in public?
• The first time I had episodes with Kidney stones, Chad rushed me from work to the hospital emergency room, where I stood waiting for someone to pay attention for a good 5 minutes. They finally noticed me when I threw up all over their front desk.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
• True happiness comes in the form of love one way or another.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
• I believe in all kinds of possibilities concerning love.

41. Can ex's be friends?
• Sometimes yes and sometimes no. It depends on the each other's character and the events that occured to make them an "ex" in the first place.

42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
• My little cousin when she was kicked in the head by a horse.

43. Did you have a lot of hair as a baby?
• Not born with it, but I made up for that later on in life. My hair's so freaking thick it makes people sick. I never have to fear going bald.

44. What message is on your answering machine?
• Eh.... something about the network sucking. I think I need to change it since it has gotten a little bit better.

46. What was the name of your first pet?
• Well, I don't remember Cooter, he was apparently a large dog Mom and Dad had to give away for fear he would someday bite one of us (we were so tiny). So after about a million goldfish, there was Kermie the wormie (really a lizard) and then Rosemary, our sweet cocker spaniel.... then the list goes on and on.

47. What's in your backpack?
• NOTHING! I'm DONE with school! For-Ev-Er.

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
• That I have someone that knows how to fix cars.

50. What do you think about most?
• I live in Cynthia world most of the time. It's too strange to even describe.

DO YOU SNORE?
• Yes. *sadly* like a freight train if I'm sick.

WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
• Bugs. Plain and simple, any kind, any size, any shape.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
• No, I was way more into GI-Joe and My Little Pony.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
• I think it makes me feel better about myself every day.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
• No, I usually rip apart the plastic lid on drinks bit by bit though.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
• Hell yeah! Except for that whole... poopin in my pants thing, but who doesn't do that every now and then.

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
• I haven't been single since I was 15... does that answer the question?

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
• Apple white.

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
• Sometimes, it depends on my mood.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
• It's not really on my to-do list.

ANY SPECIAL TALENTS?
• Any talent is special, otherwise it wouldn't be a talent. But an unusual talent would be my bunny taming capabilities. Those things get wild, but when I'm around... they're just so calm and fluffy.

WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
• Anywhere but here. I haven't been on a real vacation since 5th grade.

IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
• Apparently someone thinks he is. He is getting paid for it.

CAN YOU SWIM?
• I CAN but I much prefer to leisurely float.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVE "DONNIE DARKO"?
• Can't say that I have.

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
• Of course I do... but I'm no treehugger.

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSTIE POP?
• You just want to watch me seductively lick a tootsie pop, dont you.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
• If I'm looking at it I could. On my own brain cells, not a chance.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
• I've been IN an airplane, but never ON one.

ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
• Nope. One pain in the butt older brother. He's not so much a pain in the butt anymore... cause he's in New Jersey. lol just kidding Timmy

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
• Dude, I have a fancy electric pencil sharpener... as one of my away messages says "I LOVE MY ELECTRIC PENCIL SHARPENER"

WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
• I'm not concerned about it but its not something I care to do.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
• Let me ask my Magic 8 Ball. "Better not tell you now"

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
• I have award winning handwriting. Really.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
• Aspirin. I get seriously fluffy lips for 24 hours if I take it.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID "I LOVE YOU"?
• This morning.

IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?
• I'm just skipping this question cause its dumb.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
• They hand me the tissue on entry to the church.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
• In brownie and cake batter.

ARE BLONDES DUMB?
• Ughhhhh No. Just ditzy from time to time.

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
• Apparently they're being abducted for Hane's latest marketing ploy.

WHAT TIME IS IT?
• 2:22 PM... several weeks later. Yeah I've taken my precious time taking this survey...

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
• Cave Monkey, Crack Monkey, Pretty much anything monkey I guess.

IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
• Even after working there a year, I love their french fries.

WHO'S YOUR HERO?
• I'm gonna go with Pinky and the Brain. Heros.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
• Like 5 seconds ago. I actually paused here to go try and jump start it.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
• Baths. I'm not sure why baths are decreasing in popularity... you can't have bubbles in showers people.

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
• Of course not... but he needs to be cause I'm poor and that makes it hard to buy presents.

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
• Oh god yes...

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
• I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of the results of stumbling around in the dark.

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
• Crunchy. The thought of eating creamy peanut butter kinda makes me ill for some reason.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
• From time to time.

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
• Yeah. I felt worse getting off the ambulance than when I got on. Something about being strapped to a board while in motion... just didn't sit well with me.

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
• Once... I plan on doing it again at least once

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
• I think so, that's why I've stayed that way. It's too bad I made the decision to not have kids because I can sit them down and tell them I stayed that way and they can too without being a hypocrite. I didn't drink until I was legally of age too.

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
• Only when I take the good kind of medicine.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
• When they're green I'm being evil/mischievous. When they're brown the world can be at ease... the sweet side is shining through.

HOW LOUD DO YOU SNEEZE?
• It's not a question of am I loud... its a question of what pitch its going to be.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
• I'm still here aren't I?

WHAT'S YOUR BEST FRIEND'S NAME?
• I don't have a best friend, but I do have a tummy ache.

WHO'S BETTER: STONE COLD OR THE ROCK?
• The Rock. But they both remind me of ice cream.

ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
• Only when I need to be.

HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
• Yeah... I have to tell you. There are a few *classics* out there that I'm not sure why they make it to that category. Catcher in the Rye would be one of those.

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
• Unfortunately not. If I had the choice to learn something, I'd probably go for the piano or the harp.

CAN YOU SKATE?
• Yeap. not on those blade thingies one... on the old school kind. I love to skate.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
• Does it count if they took it back?

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
• LOL no... but its humorous to think of me trying.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
• Watching "House of Wax" just killed any thoughts of becoming one with nature. I wasn't too thrilled of being without electrical outlets in the first place though.

Do you look more like your father or mother?
• I have my mom's skin and that's about it. I'm just like my dad.

Are you too shy to ask someone out?
• I'm not shy like I used to be, but I don't ask people out.

How old are you?
• 23

Do you know anyone who has the same birthday as you?
• Sure don't, I know someone with a birthday 10 days before and someone 8 days after.

What annoys you more than anything?
• Those people that find out they are in the wrong lane and need to be two lanes over, so instead of doing the reasonable thing and going ahead and turning the way their lane needs to turn and find a place and turn around. They make everyone behind them wait while they push their way through traffic to get to the other lane. Yeah, those people.

What is your favorite junk food?
• Little Debbie Snack Cake Brownies.

Have you ever taught a little kid a curse word?
• I don't think so. I'm not around em enough to be any kind of influence.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
• Professional. Married. Happy.

Do holidays make you festive?
• Christmas is the only one that makes me *festive* per say, but I enjoy New Years, Valentines Day, Easter, July 4th, and Thanksgiving.

What is your favorite cereal?
• Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms.

How do you react when someone is talking to you --up in your face--?
• It depends, are they yelling at me or are they just a little too close for comfort? This is a weird question.

Where do you like to go on a first date?
• Football or Hockey games.

What movie could you watch a million times never get tired of?
• Office Space. Need I explain why?

What are you wearing right now?
• A new LSU shirt, jeans, and my brand new Sunshine Yellow converse all stars.

Do you get feelings for people easily?
• I wouldn't say yes, but I am passionate about people. I care too much sometimes.

Movies at home or in a theater?
• I'll rent most movies, I save going to see something in the theater for special movies. Most of the movies I see in the theater are action movies or romantic comedies.

If you won a million dollars in the lottery,what would you do with the money?
• Make it 5 million and then we'll talk.

Do you sleep on the left, right, or the middle of the bed?
• If I'm facing the bed I get in on the left side, and sometimes I'll stay there the whole night but sometimes I'll wiggle to the middle.

What time did you wake up this morning?
• 8:30 am

What time did you go to bed last night?
• I have NO idea. I was cleaning for a while and I didn't look at the clock when I crawled into bed.

You're going on a date for a walk around the lake then a coffee at a cafe. what do you wear FROM your closet?
• I'll probably find a comfortable but flattering tshirt, jeans and hopefully its warm enough for flip flops.

What are you thinking about RIGHT NOW?
• As much as I don't like Florida... they need to beat Georgia.

Who was the last person you spoke to ?
• Jade the kitty kat.

Do nice guys really finish last?
• Not as long as there are girls like me out there.

What are your plans for this upcoming weekend?
• Well... I hope to be at the next home game for LSU and maybe back the next day for a Saints game.

Yet another Example

Police: 93-Year-Old Drives Through Toll With Body On Windshield

A 93-year-old driver apparently suffering from dementia fatally struck a pedestrian, then continued driving through a toll booth with the man's body on his windshield, police said. Investigators said Ralph Parker hit the man on 34th Street in St. Petersburg Wednesday night, according to a report.

Ralph Parker of Pinellas Park drove for 3 miles Wednesday night after striking the 52-year-old pedestrian with his gold 2002 Chevrolet Malibu, severing the man's right leg, police said. A toll taker on the Sunshine Skyway saw the body stuck through Parker's windshield and notified police, Traffic Homicide Investigator Michael Jockers said. Authorities did not identify the pedestrian.

Parker was hospitalized overnight with minor scrapes, and was expected to be taken to an elder care facility, Jockers said. Charges were not likely to be filed, because Parker did not appear to know what had happened, where he was nor the correct date, said Bruce Bartlett, chief assistant in the Pinellas-Pasco County State Attorney's Office. "He may have somewhere in his mind have realized it was a crash, but immediately forgot about it," Jockers said.

Police took Parker's license, which he renewed in 2003. "That was the one thing he had to do, to get in his car and just drive for the sheer enjoyment of driving," Jockers said. Parker lived alone after his wife died in 1998, according to authorities.

A spokesman for the state Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles said the agency would conduct its own inquiry into whether Parker, who otherwise had a clean driving record, should have had a license.

Seniors age 80 or older must pass only a vision test when renewing a Florida driver's license.

Components of A Dream

Hostile Alien Takeovers. Old houses falling apart. Old friends that just weren't theirselves. A McDonalds that just couldn't get my order right. Grabbing packages of Snickers and Butterfingers randomly strewn about. REALLY old ladies in a motorcycle gange. And a Shortage of Milk.

The Family Dinner

Most Friday evenings around 9pm-11pm you can find me at Perk's Coffee & Tea on Perkins Rd. enjoying some improve comdey. The troop is called The Family Dinner. It's always a good time, generally clean, and cheap entertainment.

So I thought I'd share a few of the pictures I've snapped with my phone at a few of the shows.


Tauzin!!! Leave your shirt on for just ONE show!


Sherman the Happy Knome, Do you have a knome inside?


This is not what it looks like! Oh wait.. maybe it is.

Well anyways... at the conclusion of the show, they do the "Irish Drinking Song". If you've ever watched Who's Line is it Anyways, you may be familiar with the melody. It's a classic ABCB DEFE scheme, usually based on some mundane but slightly interesting topic like ponies.

Steve, one of the long time members of the troop, usually struggles with this game, and the result is often a visit from the "Hobo Train". A creation of many goof ups, the Hobo Train rolls through when someone completely messes up their turn to sing. Lately, Steve has been coming up with some zingers which leads us to the conclusion that he must have recently been laid.

Last Friday, the suggestion was White Trash... and this was Steve's contribution.

"We were very poor
and we didn't have a car.
So I had to ride my mother.
She doesn't go very far.

The only problem is
when you ride your mother,
when you hit a bump
you have another brother."

Needless to say, the audience roooooolled with shocked laughter and we all packed it up and went home, slightly disturbed.

Not Written by Me

"Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A manditory evacuation means just that... Get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after thy tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the arguement. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the governments fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some. (Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store is too looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's tv and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a manditory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff... it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, Let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave! (For goodness sakes, it's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to erradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming ot of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Walmart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best... "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant."

LSU vs Vanderbilt

( 34 - 6 Win )

It's always nice to be able to have friends over and enjoy the evening with good food, good drinks, and good entertainment. Although, this time around, I wouldn't have called the entertainment "good". Granted, there was happiness within the first couple of minutes, the rest of the game was nothing short of... entirely stressful. I was grateful I had cheesy chips and chips and cheese and a large daquiri to concentrate on.



This was an ugly game. Thankfully, in the end LSU statistically dominated the game despite four turnovers and 14 penalties. LSU QB, JaMarcus Russell, was the SEC Offensive Player of the Week while our defense sacked the poor Vandy QB six times.



Attendance was 37,309 in Vanderbilt Stadium. More than half of those were LSU fans... the other half I think were probably trying to get to the Grand Ole' Opry and took a wrong turn somewhere.



Alrighty... since games at Vanderbilt generally end up pretty unexciting. Here's some SEC jokes.

Q: What does the La. Dept of Waste do when it is through with a garbage truck?
A: Clean it, paint it, and sell it to a Razorback as a Winnebago.

Q:What do you call an LSU girl followed by a Commodore (or Commode Door), a Rebel, a Gamecock, and a Gator?
A: Regular price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks,4 bucks.

Q: What do you call 3 Rebel running backs standing shoulder to shoulder?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: Did you hear about why the Bama grad that got fired from the M&M manufacturer?
A: He kept throwing out all the "W"'s.

Q:How can you tell if a 'Dore has been using your computer?
A:There's white out on the screen.

Q:How can you tell if a Aggie has been using your computer?
A:There's writing over the white out.

Q: A LSU grad and a Gamecock grad both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first?
A: The LSU grad because the Gamecock grad would have to stop to ask for directions.

Q: Did you hear about the Rebel fans that missed this year's game?
A: They saw a sign that said "LSU LEFT" so they went home.

Q: Why don't they put ice in drinks at College Station?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.

Q: How do you break an Auburn guy's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: Hear about the Miss. State fan who lost $50 on the football game?
A: He lost $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay!

Q: Why did the Bama grad marry the cow?
A: He had to.

Q: Did you hear about the Florida athlete that won a Gold Medal at the Olympic game?
A: He was so proud of it that he had it bronzed!

Q: Why don't they teach sex ed and driver ed at Ole Miss?
A: They don't want the mule to get too tired!

Q: Why don't you see many Tennessee Pharmacist?
A: They can't figure out how to put the medicine bottles in the printer!

Q. What is the definition of safe sex at Auburn?
A. Placing a sign on the animals that kick...

Q. Why was the Vandy football team late for last year's game?
A. Because everytime they passed a sign for 'Clean Restrooms,' they did.

Q. How many Florida students does it take to make popcorn?
A. Eleven. One to hold the pan and ten to shake the stove.

Q: How do you castrate an South Carolina football player?
A: You hit his sister in the jaw!

Q: What is the difference between a pothole and a Bama fan?
A: You would swerve to miss the pothole!

Q: How many Alabama fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: About 75,000. One to change the bulb, and 74,999 to stand around and talk about how great the old one used to be.

Q: What is 100 yards long and only has 3 teeth?
A: The front row at a Alabama home game

Q: How do you get an Auburn Graduate off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza!

Q: What was the first thing the Auburn graduate said to the LSU graduate after getting his degree?
A: Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order please?

The Uglies

I was browsing

Sports Illustrated

and they had a link on the main page for pictures of cheerleaders. Well, out of curiousity I clicked on it... hey, I can appreciate a good looking woman; however, after the first picture... it was all downhill from there. I'm going to post all 32 images, just for arguments sake. Your opinion on a good picture verses my opinion on a good picture may differ.


Attractive girl, flattering image of her.


Same attractive girl, not so flattering image of her.


*Woah* who let the she-male on the Oakland Raiders squad.


And this is how you walk like a lizard.


I think she just dislocated her jaw.


Boobs and up is okay...


There's no excuse for USC's lack of attractive female cheerleaders... what's up with this motley crew?


I wasn't exactly expecting great things from Wisconsin.


She'd be okay if it weren't for her overwhelmingly bunny rabbit like qualities.


Alright Oakland... ya'll just need to start over.


Decently enough photograph, but I think you can tell its not a knockout.


Self-explainatory.


Sweet tarts anyone?


Attractive girl, still not the greatest picture.


Can you imagine just how annoying this one's laugh could sound?


And hers too?


Pretty girl, but what the hell is she wearing?


Suffers the same fate as the one above.


*weeeee* There's more of a frightened look of "Please don't drop me" than school spirit.


There's just something about the eyes and teeth that scream "veloci raptor".


She has the "duuuurrrr, I'm from Alabama" look.


There's just all kinds of wrong with this picture, especially forth from the right, front row.


There is hope with this one, but not much.


Awwww she's soooo jealous of the other teams way cooler uniforms.


Greeaaaassssyyy!


This is the exact angle of how I would want the entire nation to see me.


Not so bad, until you get to the third one... then you get the feeling that she's laying a brick, not sitting on some dude's shoulders.


The middle one is eeeeviil, I can just feel it.


Clear example of racisim.


There's a hair-i-cane blowing through Miami.


Where did they pick this one up at?


Redemption for the Saints for the hideous chick just above... pretty decent congolmeration of chicks.

LSU vs Mississippi State

( 37 - 7 Win )

So the plan for the day was to pick up Chad, get my car's inspection sticker done, head to Annagelle's to watch the game on the big screen at her parents house. She had ordered it on TigerVision and invited us over for a nice lunch beforehand. So I got up and got ready, went to Wal-mart, specifically to attempt getting the stuffed Florida Gator out of the claw machine (yes I was plotting evil and devious things to do to it). Well, sadly it's tale was caught underneath something else and $3 later, I had no Gator. Dejected, I had to move along.

So I got my gas, picked up Chad, went to the inspection sticker place. Too long of a wait, so I guess I will just have to put it off some more (surprise*surprise).

We were on the road to south Louisiana and had just turned off the Old Mississippi River Bridge in Baton Rouge, when I saw a man riding a chicken on the side of the road. I couldn't say anything I was laughing too hard... when I finally got my breath. Chad asked what I was cracking up about... and I just looked at him astounded.

I said... "You mean to tell me... you didn't see the guy riding the chicken along the side of the road?" At that point, I questioned my sanity. So... just to make sure I wasn't going crazy, I made the decision to turn around. As we passed back by, I knew I wasn't just seeing things. There he was. We pulled over alongside the poultry cowboy and pulled out our cameraphones.




Talk about something you can only believe would exist
in the state of Louisiana... a man... riding a chicken.

Anyways... got to Annagelles... chilled on the floor with Lucky watching the Tennessee game. What a bunch of pansies.
So we sat down to eat a delicious meal of crawfish fettucine and texas toast. *thumbs up*

Roll on over to the big screen, turn on the game. Our hearts all stopped. Mississippi State scores on the first possesion. I think everyone was thinking just about the same thing, were we about to get our Tiger Tails handed to us on a silver platter by... Mississippi State? *gasp*



Thankfully the answer to that question was no. LSU went on to score 37 unanswered points. As a light rain began to fall, the Mississippi State faithful began to head for the exits. I was thankful for that because I was so tired of hearing those dumb cowbells they were banging around in the background.

Now, I have to say the worst part about the entire thing was the quality of TigerVision. These people must own a maximum of two cameras. One of which was constantly struggling to find a focus on anything, the other I wish had been out of focus because it was constantly getting those *artistic shots* laying on the ground. Too bad there was some ref constantly standing in front of it... what a nice view of his big white butt.



The Tigers rebounded from a heartbreaking overtime loss to No. 10 Tennessee by bullying the Bulldogs into their third conference loss of the season. After that, we switched back and forth inbetween ASU tearing up USC and Bama taking the wind out of those Gators. Well, turns out that USC did their annoying charade as usual (I'm beginning to think that they think that the game is only 30 minutes long.... ohhhh those californians.) and Annagelle lost a dollar, thanks to Florida. She's sending them a bill I think.



So anyways... we really enjoyed the company. As we were driving back home to Baton Rouge, we saw this in the clouds... so cute so I took a picture of it.


Can you see the heart? It gave me the warm fuzzy feeling :)

And here are the pictures took by Adam, he actually went to the game. I said I would post them online.