Alarm goes off 6:30 AM. I acknowledge the fact that the alarm is indeed going off 6:47 AM.
Get in my car to drive to school 7:31 AM. Park 8:15 AM. Arrive to an empty classroom 8:30 AM.
Attempt to find out why I'm the only person in the classroom 8:45 AM. Discover the class all the way across campus 9 AM.
Study for the Design Wood Shop test 10 AM. Receive my "Congratulations you're not a dummy and are officially qualified to not chop off your arm with power tools" sticker to put on my student ID 10:15 AM.
Nap on Union couch 11:30 AM - 12:30 PM. Sitting dazed and confused in class staring at a computer screen 12:15 PM - 2 PM.
Walk back to car, drive to Jeffs apartment 2:15 PM. Sit in comfy chair, read paper, watch Wonderfalls 4:30 PM.
Discover I left my lights on AGAIN!!! 4:35 PM. Behold the glory of Highland Cafeteria 4:45 PM - 5:15 PM.
Sitting in CEBA waiting for class to start 6 PM. Later on tonight... snuggle ETA 9:45 PM
2.28.2005
2.22.2005
Cancer and Leo
Cancer & Leo - somewhat true... somewhat not... trust me 6 years with a Leo give me some knowledge on the subject.
The tides of the Moon and the Fire of the Sun... A strange alliance dominated by the Lion's strong personality. Leo spends and adores. If the Cancerian is too maternal, too watchful over the family budget, or too critical of the Lion's extravagance, the latter may feel smothered, the way Water extinguishes Fire. But Leo's generosity should charm any Cancer partner. At home, the Lion accomplishes his role with majesty, which can only delight the timid Crab.
Cancer & Cancer - Maybe too much mood swings in one place
Two halves of a romantic whole influenced by the Moon, they will spin a cocoon around themselves and the family they either already have or dream of having. This outer harmony is underpinned by a visceral need for intense emotions, the fusion of bodies, profound union. The Cancerian personality, turned towards the past, is sometimes unhappy in the present. Indulgence, tenderness, and forgiveness are the keys to the changing moods of this Water sign. If the couple separates, each half will wander like a lost soul, until a new love provides a lift.
Cancer & Aries - Some Cancers don't want to be bossed around by a Ram.
Sensitive, gentle, subtle Cancer is likely to be offended by the Ram's sometimes brutal impulsiveness. One worships the family; the other feels hemmed in by it. Dynamic Aries resents being tied down to the home and hearth primordial to Cancer, and Cancer is likely to withdraw into a prolonged sulk if he or she feels abandoned. Only shared compromise, patience, and attentiveness can build this couple. However, the Aries will always be the boss.
Cancer & Taurus - hmmmm... interesting... even if I don't like the car.
Could this be the ideal couple? Both partners are unabashed homebodies, delighting in simple pleasures: family life, good food, comfort, and prosperity. They cook up their own candlelight dinners, enjoy quiet evenings alone together, and plan their investments wisely, whether they're financial or personal. Mutual enrichment, comfort, and support are virtually guaranteed. They form a self-sufficient couple, a world unto themselves... as long as their home is comfortable and attractive!
Cancer & Gemini - Definetly not a good idea.
The road looks rocky. Cancer hopes to found a stable, comfortable home for a family; Gemini has an appetite for change, danger, and travel. If he or she feels free to come and go, he or she will appreciate the Crab's profound and genuine feelings; in return he or she provides great cheerfulness. Gemini's sociability helps the Crab out of his shell. But the latter will always be the first to want to go home to bed. If Gemini can squeeze out a bit of stability, and if Cancer can repress his or her tantrums, they'll love each other the way Air mingles with Water.
Cancer & Virgo - Not Bad
This couple glows with a tranquil aura of harmony. Virgoan organizational skills reassure the anxious Crab, whereas the latter brings Virgo love and imagination. The devoted and dutiful Earth sign will never be wicked enough to push Cancer's buttons. The moonchild's moods are tolerated and coaxed back to less slippery terrain with patience and rationality, in the affectionate surroundings the Cancerian craves. Their life is orderly and calm, but never dull. They love each other simply, tenderly, and gracefully.
Cancer & Libra - Sounds like too much work
No doubt the moonchild is enchanted by the Libran's sense of harmony and generosity. But lifestyle differences are likely to become insurmountable obstacles early on. Home-loving, maternal Cancer cannot tolerate Libra's whirl of parties and entertainment. Libra thrives on company, excitement, communication, networks of relationships. If Cancer cannot broaden his or her social horizons, misunderstanding, irritation, and frustration will ensue.
Cancer & Scorpio - It shouldn't be all about sex
Two Water signs dominated by sensuality... their sex life is likely to be thrilling! But is that enough? Cancer and Scorpio share a common craving. Both want to settle down; they claim to be monogamous, and instinctively sense the other's emotions. Both are comfortable in the realm of silence. However, Scorpio's rudeness may sometimes cause Cancer to recoil; Cancer's moodiness may be hard for Scorpio to bear. Moreover, Scorpio's overweening selfishness could wilt the strongest Cancerian love. If they endure, their love will be a symphony.
Cancer & Sagittarius - Opposites don't always attract.
Water and Fire, the recluse and the globe-trotter, the lecturer and the dreamer... They live in different worlds, but love is an interstellar vessel. Cancer enjoys listening to Sagittarius describe a journey, but will never be coaxed into donning a backpack and embarking on a real adventure. Moreover, the intellectual and physical preferences of a Sagittarius may make it difficult for him or her to strike a resonant chord in a Cancer. It's worth a try, but harmony will be hard to achieve.
Cancer & Capricorn - Who ever said I want to be a homemaker? I just like being at home.
A union of talents quite likely to produce harmony. Cancer is delighted to take care of the home and children while Capricorn goes out in the world to earn the family's keep. Each helps the other to fulfill an ambition, in realms that are perfectly complementary. The Saturnine personality benefits from Cancer's intuition, and the moonchild appreciates Capricorn's ability to achieve financial security. They take the time to love, understand, and cuddle each other. An ideal marriage: conventional, happy, and united for life.
Cancer & Aquarius - "the stars frown on any union of these two signs" enough for me
The Aquarian's chilly rationality upsets the sentimental moonchild, who craves intense emotion. These two signs are so alien to one another their relationship practically develops an allergic rash on contact. Aquarius values reality; Cancer trusts only intuition. Soon misunderstanding has settled in, widening the gap in the couple. In this struggle, the broken heart is always that of the moonchild. Be forewarned and proceed at your own risk: the stars frown on any union of these two signs.
Cancer & Pisces - Sometimes too much harmony isn't a good thing
When these two Water signs flow together, the Moon soon locks into Neptune's orbit. Cancer and Pisces intuitively understand each other; they handle each other's sensitivity with respect, care, and gentleness. Their personalities are likely to merge. In physical love, they give of their souls for mutual delight. Loathing power struggles, they silently respect each other's solitude, and barely need to speak aloud. Pragmatic Cancer can relieve dreamy Pisces of life's daily tasks. If the latter is willing to settle down, total harmony is in store for them
The tides of the Moon and the Fire of the Sun... A strange alliance dominated by the Lion's strong personality. Leo spends and adores. If the Cancerian is too maternal, too watchful over the family budget, or too critical of the Lion's extravagance, the latter may feel smothered, the way Water extinguishes Fire. But Leo's generosity should charm any Cancer partner. At home, the Lion accomplishes his role with majesty, which can only delight the timid Crab.
Cancer & Cancer - Maybe too much mood swings in one place
Two halves of a romantic whole influenced by the Moon, they will spin a cocoon around themselves and the family they either already have or dream of having. This outer harmony is underpinned by a visceral need for intense emotions, the fusion of bodies, profound union. The Cancerian personality, turned towards the past, is sometimes unhappy in the present. Indulgence, tenderness, and forgiveness are the keys to the changing moods of this Water sign. If the couple separates, each half will wander like a lost soul, until a new love provides a lift.
Cancer & Aries - Some Cancers don't want to be bossed around by a Ram.
Sensitive, gentle, subtle Cancer is likely to be offended by the Ram's sometimes brutal impulsiveness. One worships the family; the other feels hemmed in by it. Dynamic Aries resents being tied down to the home and hearth primordial to Cancer, and Cancer is likely to withdraw into a prolonged sulk if he or she feels abandoned. Only shared compromise, patience, and attentiveness can build this couple. However, the Aries will always be the boss.
Cancer & Taurus - hmmmm... interesting... even if I don't like the car.
Could this be the ideal couple? Both partners are unabashed homebodies, delighting in simple pleasures: family life, good food, comfort, and prosperity. They cook up their own candlelight dinners, enjoy quiet evenings alone together, and plan their investments wisely, whether they're financial or personal. Mutual enrichment, comfort, and support are virtually guaranteed. They form a self-sufficient couple, a world unto themselves... as long as their home is comfortable and attractive!
Cancer & Gemini - Definetly not a good idea.
The road looks rocky. Cancer hopes to found a stable, comfortable home for a family; Gemini has an appetite for change, danger, and travel. If he or she feels free to come and go, he or she will appreciate the Crab's profound and genuine feelings; in return he or she provides great cheerfulness. Gemini's sociability helps the Crab out of his shell. But the latter will always be the first to want to go home to bed. If Gemini can squeeze out a bit of stability, and if Cancer can repress his or her tantrums, they'll love each other the way Air mingles with Water.
Cancer & Virgo - Not Bad
This couple glows with a tranquil aura of harmony. Virgoan organizational skills reassure the anxious Crab, whereas the latter brings Virgo love and imagination. The devoted and dutiful Earth sign will never be wicked enough to push Cancer's buttons. The moonchild's moods are tolerated and coaxed back to less slippery terrain with patience and rationality, in the affectionate surroundings the Cancerian craves. Their life is orderly and calm, but never dull. They love each other simply, tenderly, and gracefully.
Cancer & Libra - Sounds like too much work
No doubt the moonchild is enchanted by the Libran's sense of harmony and generosity. But lifestyle differences are likely to become insurmountable obstacles early on. Home-loving, maternal Cancer cannot tolerate Libra's whirl of parties and entertainment. Libra thrives on company, excitement, communication, networks of relationships. If Cancer cannot broaden his or her social horizons, misunderstanding, irritation, and frustration will ensue.
Cancer & Scorpio - It shouldn't be all about sex
Two Water signs dominated by sensuality... their sex life is likely to be thrilling! But is that enough? Cancer and Scorpio share a common craving. Both want to settle down; they claim to be monogamous, and instinctively sense the other's emotions. Both are comfortable in the realm of silence. However, Scorpio's rudeness may sometimes cause Cancer to recoil; Cancer's moodiness may be hard for Scorpio to bear. Moreover, Scorpio's overweening selfishness could wilt the strongest Cancerian love. If they endure, their love will be a symphony.
Cancer & Sagittarius - Opposites don't always attract.
Water and Fire, the recluse and the globe-trotter, the lecturer and the dreamer... They live in different worlds, but love is an interstellar vessel. Cancer enjoys listening to Sagittarius describe a journey, but will never be coaxed into donning a backpack and embarking on a real adventure. Moreover, the intellectual and physical preferences of a Sagittarius may make it difficult for him or her to strike a resonant chord in a Cancer. It's worth a try, but harmony will be hard to achieve.
Cancer & Capricorn - Who ever said I want to be a homemaker? I just like being at home.
A union of talents quite likely to produce harmony. Cancer is delighted to take care of the home and children while Capricorn goes out in the world to earn the family's keep. Each helps the other to fulfill an ambition, in realms that are perfectly complementary. The Saturnine personality benefits from Cancer's intuition, and the moonchild appreciates Capricorn's ability to achieve financial security. They take the time to love, understand, and cuddle each other. An ideal marriage: conventional, happy, and united for life.
Cancer & Aquarius - "the stars frown on any union of these two signs" enough for me
The Aquarian's chilly rationality upsets the sentimental moonchild, who craves intense emotion. These two signs are so alien to one another their relationship practically develops an allergic rash on contact. Aquarius values reality; Cancer trusts only intuition. Soon misunderstanding has settled in, widening the gap in the couple. In this struggle, the broken heart is always that of the moonchild. Be forewarned and proceed at your own risk: the stars frown on any union of these two signs.
Cancer & Pisces - Sometimes too much harmony isn't a good thing
When these two Water signs flow together, the Moon soon locks into Neptune's orbit. Cancer and Pisces intuitively understand each other; they handle each other's sensitivity with respect, care, and gentleness. Their personalities are likely to merge. In physical love, they give of their souls for mutual delight. Loathing power struggles, they silently respect each other's solitude, and barely need to speak aloud. Pragmatic Cancer can relieve dreamy Pisces of life's daily tasks. If the latter is willing to settle down, total harmony is in store for them
All about 69 (turned sideways)
Its not being sick dummy, its the symbol for the astrological sign Cancer... I just didn't want to say Cancer in the title of the post.
Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is characterized by deep feelings and protectiveness. You are known for being nurturing, hospitable, and imaginative, and all your effort goes into making your home a safe place for you and the people you cherish.
Element: Water
Being the first of the water signs you have psychic powers, and are able to sense feelings and thoughts in others – you feel rather than think. When you love someone, you love truly and deeply, and have the desire to connect on a profound level.
Mode: Cardinal
Your sign is a cardinal sign, which means that your parental instincts compel you to protect and fight for the security of your loved ones. You thrive on drama, and get stronger in situations of crisis.
Ruler: Moon
The Moon, is the ruler of your sign, and makes you a very intuitive and empathetic person. Like the ebb and flow of the tides, you are both receptive to those you love and willing to offer comfort in return.
Color: Silver
As a Cancer, you rule the fourth house, the sector of the horoscope that describes your emotional roots, your home, your childhood, and your parent of lesser influence, usually your father. Most of all, the fourth house stands for attunement to your inner self.
Famous Cancerians:
Pamela Anderson, Princess Diana, Harrison Ford, Ernest Hemingway, Franz Kafka, Nicole Kidman, Gina Lollobrigida, George Orwell, Rembrandt Van Rijn, Ginger Rogers, Carlos Santana, Jean-Paul Sartre, O.J. Simpson, Mike Tyson
Strengths:
Adaptable, cooperative, emotional, hospitable, imaginative, intuitive, nurturing, sensitive, receptive, sacrificially, selfless
Weaknesses:
Dependent, erratic, hypersensitive, immature, manipulable, moody, possessive, smothering subjective, tyrannical
Rising Sign - Cancer
Cancer Rising, you are a “lunar” personality. That is someone who is emotionally volatile, Cynthia, with inexplicable mood swings that seem to occur cyclically. In general, you keep a good deal of anxiety inside yourself, especially if you are in doubt about something. Even though you are sensitive, susceptible, and vulnerable on the inside, this may not be apparent because you cover yourself with a hard shell. You don’t like to make waves, and you prefer to stoically endure difficult relationships, rather than taking active steps to find a resolution. You contain a deep inner life, one full of imagination and fantasy, which explains why you are attracted to the eccentric and idiosyncratic sides of other people.
You are a nurturing and hospitable individual, and are drawn to creating a safe place in your life, which is your home and your family. You are the kind of person who goes back to reconstruct your family tree, and rummages through the attic looking for lost memories or objects of your past. You have a strong need to protect your loved ones, showering them with love and affection.
You are loyal in romantic relationships, Cynthia, even overly sentimental at times, and love unreservedly. The impact you have on other people is considerable. In remaining close and loyal to your true friends, you are in a unique position to connect with people, individually and in groups, in meaningful and lasting ways
Numerology; Life Path Number - 11
Your Life-Path number is probably the most influential numerological aspect to be considered, Cynthia, and represents who you are at the time of birth. It indicates specific traits and will likely be active and influential throughout your lifetime. It is the overall number that determines much of what will be important to you and how you will handle things as they come.
If your Life-Path number is ELEVEN, yours is a Master Vibration number associated with spiritual awareness. Master Vibration people tend to possess an understanding and knowledge beyond others. As an ELEVEN, you are thought of as being on a higher spiritual plane.
ELEVENS tend to be very interesting people with much to offer to those around them. They are intuitive, avant-garde, idealistic and cultured – extremely so. They are the visionaries. It’s common to find an ELEVEN looking for understanding of life’s mysteries. Socially, connections with others are highly developed. ELEVENS bring much to the topic of conversation and are excellent listeners.
An ELEVEN will expect much from themselves and from others. At times this can make them difficult to deal with. Actions can be impractical, as an ELEVEN is more of a dreamer than a doer. Key words/qualities associated with an ELEVEN Life-Path are spiritual, intuitive, illumination, idealistic, and dreamer.
Chinese Sign - Dog
The Dog's loyalty and sense of smell make him a sure friend with brilliant intuition. You are very human and warm and people count on that. You advance in life with a logic that is materialistic and you have a high sense of honor. Injustice makes your fur stand on end and you fight to the end against dishonesty and oppression.
Those who get in your way should be careful: your bite is deep and your bark thunderous. Willfully incisive, your cynicism is sharp and constantly fed by your pessimistic nature. This lucid realism allows you to rise quickly from your gloom. Nothing surprises you and certainly not worst-case scenarios. Your confidence in the goodness of men is relative and you have a tendency to distrust people that you don't know. But if someone conquers your heart, you are a great friend. You love to frolic in the countryside, spend an evening by the fire, and have your nose in a book.
A philosopher and discreet, you don't think that you can change society. To protect yourself from disappointment, you choose your close friends with care after having tested them in the smallest details. In this closed universe where affection reigns, you gladly show yourself as a nutty, eccentric companion that is fun to be around. Your fault: As an introverted Dog, you are on the defensive a little too much.
Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is characterized by deep feelings and protectiveness. You are known for being nurturing, hospitable, and imaginative, and all your effort goes into making your home a safe place for you and the people you cherish.
Element: Water
Being the first of the water signs you have psychic powers, and are able to sense feelings and thoughts in others – you feel rather than think. When you love someone, you love truly and deeply, and have the desire to connect on a profound level.
Mode: Cardinal
Your sign is a cardinal sign, which means that your parental instincts compel you to protect and fight for the security of your loved ones. You thrive on drama, and get stronger in situations of crisis.
Ruler: Moon
The Moon, is the ruler of your sign, and makes you a very intuitive and empathetic person. Like the ebb and flow of the tides, you are both receptive to those you love and willing to offer comfort in return.
Color: Silver
As a Cancer, you rule the fourth house, the sector of the horoscope that describes your emotional roots, your home, your childhood, and your parent of lesser influence, usually your father. Most of all, the fourth house stands for attunement to your inner self.
Famous Cancerians:
Pamela Anderson, Princess Diana, Harrison Ford, Ernest Hemingway, Franz Kafka, Nicole Kidman, Gina Lollobrigida, George Orwell, Rembrandt Van Rijn, Ginger Rogers, Carlos Santana, Jean-Paul Sartre, O.J. Simpson, Mike Tyson
Strengths:
Adaptable, cooperative, emotional, hospitable, imaginative, intuitive, nurturing, sensitive, receptive, sacrificially, selfless
Weaknesses:
Dependent, erratic, hypersensitive, immature, manipulable, moody, possessive, smothering subjective, tyrannical
Rising Sign - Cancer
Cancer Rising, you are a “lunar” personality. That is someone who is emotionally volatile, Cynthia, with inexplicable mood swings that seem to occur cyclically. In general, you keep a good deal of anxiety inside yourself, especially if you are in doubt about something. Even though you are sensitive, susceptible, and vulnerable on the inside, this may not be apparent because you cover yourself with a hard shell. You don’t like to make waves, and you prefer to stoically endure difficult relationships, rather than taking active steps to find a resolution. You contain a deep inner life, one full of imagination and fantasy, which explains why you are attracted to the eccentric and idiosyncratic sides of other people.
You are a nurturing and hospitable individual, and are drawn to creating a safe place in your life, which is your home and your family. You are the kind of person who goes back to reconstruct your family tree, and rummages through the attic looking for lost memories or objects of your past. You have a strong need to protect your loved ones, showering them with love and affection.
You are loyal in romantic relationships, Cynthia, even overly sentimental at times, and love unreservedly. The impact you have on other people is considerable. In remaining close and loyal to your true friends, you are in a unique position to connect with people, individually and in groups, in meaningful and lasting ways
Numerology; Life Path Number - 11
Your Life-Path number is probably the most influential numerological aspect to be considered, Cynthia, and represents who you are at the time of birth. It indicates specific traits and will likely be active and influential throughout your lifetime. It is the overall number that determines much of what will be important to you and how you will handle things as they come.
If your Life-Path number is ELEVEN, yours is a Master Vibration number associated with spiritual awareness. Master Vibration people tend to possess an understanding and knowledge beyond others. As an ELEVEN, you are thought of as being on a higher spiritual plane.
ELEVENS tend to be very interesting people with much to offer to those around them. They are intuitive, avant-garde, idealistic and cultured – extremely so. They are the visionaries. It’s common to find an ELEVEN looking for understanding of life’s mysteries. Socially, connections with others are highly developed. ELEVENS bring much to the topic of conversation and are excellent listeners.
An ELEVEN will expect much from themselves and from others. At times this can make them difficult to deal with. Actions can be impractical, as an ELEVEN is more of a dreamer than a doer. Key words/qualities associated with an ELEVEN Life-Path are spiritual, intuitive, illumination, idealistic, and dreamer.
Chinese Sign - Dog
The Dog's loyalty and sense of smell make him a sure friend with brilliant intuition. You are very human and warm and people count on that. You advance in life with a logic that is materialistic and you have a high sense of honor. Injustice makes your fur stand on end and you fight to the end against dishonesty and oppression.
Those who get in your way should be careful: your bite is deep and your bark thunderous. Willfully incisive, your cynicism is sharp and constantly fed by your pessimistic nature. This lucid realism allows you to rise quickly from your gloom. Nothing surprises you and certainly not worst-case scenarios. Your confidence in the goodness of men is relative and you have a tendency to distrust people that you don't know. But if someone conquers your heart, you are a great friend. You love to frolic in the countryside, spend an evening by the fire, and have your nose in a book.
A philosopher and discreet, you don't think that you can change society. To protect yourself from disappointment, you choose your close friends with care after having tested them in the smallest details. In this closed universe where affection reigns, you gladly show yourself as a nutty, eccentric companion that is fun to be around. Your fault: As an introverted Dog, you are on the defensive a little too much.
Surprise
I relapsed this weekend into whatever crud I've been sick with since January 30th. That puts me at three weeks of being sick. So this morning I decide to go to the doctor. Get the appointment, drive over there, fill out paperwork, wait, get weighed, sit in a waiting room, go "aghhhhh", get my diagnosis... I'm sick. Noooooo really *note the sarcasim*...
Anyways, instead of having to wait for antibiotics to take a few days to work, I opt for the shot that would make me start feeling better in 6 to 8 hours. So the nurse walks in with the shot and my perscriptions and she asks if I'm ready. I say sure as I start rolling up my sleeve. She turns around and laughs and says... "honey its not going there". I was so not mentally prepared for that. That's right... right in the bum and on the cheek with my playboy bunny tan line at that...
The funnniest response from my post-shot complaining was that from a friend of mine, "What?!? You don't like pullin yo' pants down and having somethin stuck in your butt? :) I do!" Well that's always a great thing to know lol...
Anyways, instead of having to wait for antibiotics to take a few days to work, I opt for the shot that would make me start feeling better in 6 to 8 hours. So the nurse walks in with the shot and my perscriptions and she asks if I'm ready. I say sure as I start rolling up my sleeve. She turns around and laughs and says... "honey its not going there". I was so not mentally prepared for that. That's right... right in the bum and on the cheek with my playboy bunny tan line at that...
The funnniest response from my post-shot complaining was that from a friend of mine, "What?!? You don't like pullin yo' pants down and having somethin stuck in your butt? :) I do!" Well that's always a great thing to know lol...
GREEEAAAAT *rolls eyes*
The 1995 Saturn SL received the dubious honor of being listed as the most stolen vehicle of 2003, according to the most recent stolen vehicle report from CCC Information Services Inc. The CCC report is based on the number of vehicles thefts in 2003 compared to the number of registered vehicles and found that one out of every 200 1995 Saturn SLs registered was stolen last year. The 1998 Acura Integra and the 1994 Saturn SL were second and third on the list.
The CCC reports the ten most-stolen vehicles for 2003 are as follows:
1. 1995 Saturn SL
2. 1998 Acura Integra
3. 1994 Saturn SL
4. 1999 Acura Integra
5. 1995 Acura Integra
6. 1997 Acura Integra
7. 1996 Acura Integra
8. 1994 Acura Integra
9. 2002 Mitsubishi Montero
10. 2000 Honda Civic
The study is based on total loss claims received from more than 350 property and casualty insurers in North America and compares the number of vehicles stolen and not recovered against vehicle registration volume information provided by R.L. Polk & Co., to determine the rate of theft.
Now who do we know drives a 1995 SL2... ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Chad has a '96. Adam has a '97. Steven has a '94 (sorry buddy I don't anyone would steal the "sex machine" except for the Buddy Christ on the windshield). We're just a slew of Saturn drivin' fools... but I am the only one in real danger of potential theft. That's just great... I mean really.
I dare anyone to come try to steal my baby... I am SOOOOO not in the mood right now.
The CCC reports the ten most-stolen vehicles for 2003 are as follows:
1. 1995 Saturn SL
2. 1998 Acura Integra
3. 1994 Saturn SL
4. 1999 Acura Integra
5. 1995 Acura Integra
6. 1997 Acura Integra
7. 1996 Acura Integra
8. 1994 Acura Integra
9. 2002 Mitsubishi Montero
10. 2000 Honda Civic
The study is based on total loss claims received from more than 350 property and casualty insurers in North America and compares the number of vehicles stolen and not recovered against vehicle registration volume information provided by R.L. Polk & Co., to determine the rate of theft.
Now who do we know drives a 1995 SL2... ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Chad has a '96. Adam has a '97. Steven has a '94 (sorry buddy I don't anyone would steal the "sex machine" except for the Buddy Christ on the windshield). We're just a slew of Saturn drivin' fools... but I am the only one in real danger of potential theft. That's just great... I mean really.
I dare anyone to come try to steal my baby... I am SOOOOO not in the mood right now.
2.20.2005
PT Barnum and Bailey Circus
Chad and me battled the horrendous traffic (it took over an hour to travel less than a mile down the road to park) to go to the circus this Saturday. I was really excited because it was the first circus that I've ever been to. That isn't a dorky thing to be excited about right?!? Right... good. It was fun, not AS good as I hoped. Chad complained about having to pay $6 for cotton candy... but it was sooooo good :) I wish there were more animals, but the horses were absolutely gorgeous. Anyways... here are some pictures.
Normally, I'm sure that there are a lot of *ouuus* and *ahhhs* when they pull these alligators out of the boxes in other cities... but here in Baton Rouge, you know half the audience is thinking "Now that's some goooooood eating"... the other half is thinking "Just put some Tony's on that... I'm sure it'd be some goood eating". Regardless... its the gators that should be scared.
The elephants did some really cute tricks... elephants are always cute though. They played basketball, stood on tiny stools, posed for pictures... and here... rolled across the arena while balancing on a barrel. I don't way two tons and I don't think even I could do that.
Yeap... that's a jeep with 6 grown men in it rolling over a guy.
Look at this death defying act of 3 motorcyclist all rolling around in a metal ball. I can remember this stunt in "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken"... good that's a good movie. I still cry at it.
Stealing a kiss during intermission... I think I was just trying to convince him to go pay $6 for cotton candy. Men are too easy.
2.18.2005
Cajuns Vs. Satan
Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you, I have some Cajuns up here in Heaven who are causing some problems.
They are swinging on the Pearly Gates. My horn is missing. Crab boil is all over their robes. Spareribs, and crawfish shells are all over the streets of gold. Some folks are walking around with one wing. They have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds all over the clouds. They have eaten almost every animal up here! And some of them aren't even wearing their halos."
The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Dang, hold on."
The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello, God, what can I do for you?" God replied, "Tell me, what kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and puts the Lord on hold.
After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?"
God asked again, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this..... Hold on, God."
This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry, God, I just can't talk right now. These coonasses done put the fire out, and are trying to install air conditioning and direct TV before the LSU football game tonight.
They are swinging on the Pearly Gates. My horn is missing. Crab boil is all over their robes. Spareribs, and crawfish shells are all over the streets of gold. Some folks are walking around with one wing. They have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds all over the clouds. They have eaten almost every animal up here! And some of them aren't even wearing their halos."
The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Dang, hold on."
The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello, God, what can I do for you?" God replied, "Tell me, what kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and puts the Lord on hold.
After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?"
God asked again, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this..... Hold on, God."
This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry, God, I just can't talk right now. These coonasses done put the fire out, and are trying to install air conditioning and direct TV before the LSU football game tonight.
The TMI Survey
1. Favorite nickname someone has given you: Larry, he calls me his sugar momma although the most he's ever gotten was a Christmas card... apparently for some people it doesn't take much.
2. Favorite place you've ever lived: the same place I've always lived, Baton Rouge
3. Best year of your life, to date: *shrugs* lets go with... 1999... apparently there was some party then.
4. Number of pets you've killed: lol 2 *blush*
5. Age at which you lost your virginity: 20?
6. Will you ever get married? mhmmm, when exactly is an issue right now
7. What side of the bed do you sleep on? either on the middle or on the left (if you're standing on at the foot of the bed)
8. Do you have nice toes? Hell yeah... I get compliments all the time
9. Occupation: Student, Student Worker, Graphic Artist, and professional squeaker.
10. Favorite occupation, to date: girl scout
11. Pen or pencil: depends on the application
12. Are you keeping a secret from your significant other? Yeah but he reads this so I can't tell you.
13. Song that you'd like to make love to: "Godsend" DC Talk
14. Oddest song that you've ever made love to: Pop goes the Weasel???? maybe lol
15. Gold or silver: White Gold or silver
16. Do you want children? The plan doesn't include them
17. Do you give homeless people money? Not generally, I give them food if I have any.
18. Your worst habit: Lying, but who doesn't lie every now and then.
19. Favorite type of underwear on yourself: String bikini
20. Favorite type of underwear on the opposite sex: Boxers
21. Most embarrassing place you've ever walked into: Probably the stripper club on Burbon street... the one where the legs swing out the window haha
22. Celebrity you'd most like to fuck: hmmmm that's a toughie... I dunno.
23. Celebrity you'd most like to make love to: Yasmine Bleeth... why not...
24. Which one would your significant other invite for a threesome: hahahaha I'm sure he'd be okay with Yasmine
25. Were you born in the morning or at night: I think in the morning
26. Name a person you hate, or at least dislike greatly: Albino's... they kinda creep me out
27. How do you feel about the person who sent you this: Jeff is friggin awesome... he brings me to the cafeteria :)
28. Would you rather live in a 20' x 20' apartment with 10 people, or on a desert island alone: Island alone... I could be naked anytime I want
29. Who is your best friend: I refuse to answer this question... for obvious reasons
30. Favorite alcohol: Smirnoff Ice
31. Favorite sexual position: doggystyle
32. If you died right now, would you be happy with the current state of your life: no... cause I gotta pee.
33. Favorite smell on yourself: The pink caress soap.
34. Favorite smell on the opposite sex: Tommy or Polo Sport
35. 10 years ago, were you better or worse than you are today: lol way better today... I got contacts
36. Favorite day of the year: Summer soltice
37. Thing that you regret the most: I wasted a few of my younger years I think.
38. Hot or cold: Cold... its easier to put clothes on. Once you're naked if you're still hot... there's nothing you can do.
39. Favorite memory: snuggling on the couch in front of a fire during heavy rain drinking hot chocolate
40. Least favorite memory: being in the hospital with a broken arm
41. Drive or walk: driiiiive
42. Do you have something hidden in your home: lol yes *blush*
43. If you could see the world in one color for the rest of your life, what color would it be: sepia... that always makes the pictures look good I guess
44. Food that you would kill someone for: Macaroni and Cheese... although I'd hardly have to kill since it only cost like a dollar a box.
45. Something, that at the thought of it, makes you want to vomit: A cockroach in someone's mouth
46. If you could choose, would you live your life with or without money: lol what kind of question is that...
47. Big or small family: Party of two, nonsmoking.
48. Ever walked in on your parents having sex: Thankfully no
49. Favorite piece of clothing you own: fuzzy robe
50. One superficial item in the world that you want: McLauren F1... or my own private island
51. Love or money: Love... always.
52. Person you've had the best sex with: mmmmm don't get me started thinking about that
53. Do you wear your watch on the right or left wrist: left... but I rarely wear a watch
54. Love or hate your computer: Love it... unless its being bad... then I have to spank it.
55. Would you rather live in the past or the future(literally): Past... the world is only getting more ignorant
56. Band you would literally kill to see: There are no bands I would kill to see... seeing isn't important in music...
57. Deodorant brand: Secret... I prefer to smell like baby powder.
58. Most amount of money you've spent on 1 thing: Duh... college. I just got my bill in the mail yesterday.
59. Love or hate your cell phone: Love it... but I don't really talk on the phone a whole lot.
60. Overall feeling you get when you look at your parents: Wow they're strange... but I still love em.
61. Movie you would have killed for a walk-on role in: Office Space
62. Embarrassing pet name for your significant other: Pumpkin
63. Something you literally could not live without: electricity
64. Sweet, salty, or sour: Depends, am I pregnant?
65. Person in your youth who you wished you could have kicked in the face: I have a long hit list... Cody Lamb made me cry one too many times.
66. Favorite sibling: lol if you only have one does that mean they have to be your favorite... juuust kidding. Timmy.
67. Least favorite family member: The ones that pretend they don't have a family... that's just rude.
68. Something you've read (book, magazine, quote, graffiti, bumper sticker ...etc.) that's stuck in your mind right now: I dunno... but I think about Kermit the Frog for way more than what is considered a normal amount of time.
69. Dream pet: A jet black horse and a pure white horse.
70. Would you rather be blind, deaf, or paralyzed from the neck down: Gesus H. Christ.... I'm not picking one of those... out of the three I'd rather have a weird fungus.
71. Favorite video game: Tetris... lol I know thats sad... I haven't played video games since that one was created for Nintendo... oh so long ago.
72. Read the book or watch the movie: Depends on which one is better... not all books and movies are created equal.
73. Favorite cartoon ever: I loved My Little Pony... yes there was a My Little Pony Cartoon... oh and Animaniacs.
74. If you had your choice, would you rather be an adult or a child: Adult... I was a geeky kid.
75. Favorite thing that someone's ever given you: What I got for Valentines Day *grin* but I can't tell you.
76. Most painful injury you've ever gotten: I was in too much shock when I broke my arm to feel it... so I'm gonna go with the kidney stones... yeah that's something you DO NOT ever want to feel.
77. Is there a person you regret letting go: Lindsay Martin... maybe had we stayed friends she might be somewhat normal today.
78. Favorite type of meat: is seafood a meat? or is it just seafood...
79. Strangest thing you keep around for sentimental value: a walnut
80. Strangest place you've ever been: lol I'm gonna get in trouble for this but... Chad's family reunion.
81. Name the most annoying person you've ever met: Summer... man she was dumb
82. Do you believe in soul mates: Yes, although they are not necessarily the same person as your true love; although true loves can be sole mates too... good thing I don't think people are limited on the number of sole mates they can have.
83. Mexico or Canada: I'm gonna go with Canada... they may talk funny and their jaws definitely aren't normal on Southpark but at least you can drink the water up there.
84. Country you would most like to visit: Austrailia
85. Are you a mean person: depends on what time of the day it is around 2:30 to 3 pm... don't mess with me.
86. Do you believe in organized religion: Yeah... but don't drink the cool aid they pass out
87. Favorite thing you've ever given someone: a BJ hahahahaha
88. Worst gift you've ever gotten: I love brownies... but come on people I don't want to bake them myself. Brownie Mix... a lot of it.
89. Longest you've gone without sex: See question number 5... I think that's long enough.
90. Longest you've gone without masturbating: I honestly have no idea... a week maybe.
91. Name a famous person you'd love to stab in the neck: Paris Hilton... she's so worthless
92. Do you think you annoy people: Maybe if I'm overly happy or the opposite of overly happy.
93. Strangest thing you've ever seen on a plate: squid bits still squiggling around... thanks to Fear Factor.
94. Favorite time of day: Naptime
95. Show that you wished you had Tivo for, or that you use Tivo on constantly: American Idol... I'm hooked.
96. Favorite person in the world: Chad
97. If you could do one thing for an entire day, what would it be: Snuggle with laundry right out the dryer.
98. What or who would you ever go to prison for: As the saying goes, a good friend will bail you out of jail, but a great friend will be sitting right next to you... well... not everybody was meant to be great.
99. Yes or no: Yes?
100. Honestly, did you think these questions were a waste of time: Well yeah... but I'm at work... I'm a student assistant... what else is there to do haha
2. Favorite place you've ever lived: the same place I've always lived, Baton Rouge
3. Best year of your life, to date: *shrugs* lets go with... 1999... apparently there was some party then.
4. Number of pets you've killed: lol 2 *blush*
5. Age at which you lost your virginity: 20?
6. Will you ever get married? mhmmm, when exactly is an issue right now
7. What side of the bed do you sleep on? either on the middle or on the left (if you're standing on at the foot of the bed)
8. Do you have nice toes? Hell yeah... I get compliments all the time
9. Occupation: Student, Student Worker, Graphic Artist, and professional squeaker.
10. Favorite occupation, to date: girl scout
11. Pen or pencil: depends on the application
12. Are you keeping a secret from your significant other? Yeah but he reads this so I can't tell you.
13. Song that you'd like to make love to: "Godsend" DC Talk
14. Oddest song that you've ever made love to: Pop goes the Weasel???? maybe lol
15. Gold or silver: White Gold or silver
16. Do you want children? The plan doesn't include them
17. Do you give homeless people money? Not generally, I give them food if I have any.
18. Your worst habit: Lying, but who doesn't lie every now and then.
19. Favorite type of underwear on yourself: String bikini
20. Favorite type of underwear on the opposite sex: Boxers
21. Most embarrassing place you've ever walked into: Probably the stripper club on Burbon street... the one where the legs swing out the window haha
22. Celebrity you'd most like to fuck: hmmmm that's a toughie... I dunno.
23. Celebrity you'd most like to make love to: Yasmine Bleeth... why not...
24. Which one would your significant other invite for a threesome: hahahaha I'm sure he'd be okay with Yasmine
25. Were you born in the morning or at night: I think in the morning
26. Name a person you hate, or at least dislike greatly: Albino's... they kinda creep me out
27. How do you feel about the person who sent you this: Jeff is friggin awesome... he brings me to the cafeteria :)
28. Would you rather live in a 20' x 20' apartment with 10 people, or on a desert island alone: Island alone... I could be naked anytime I want
29. Who is your best friend: I refuse to answer this question... for obvious reasons
30. Favorite alcohol: Smirnoff Ice
31. Favorite sexual position: doggystyle
32. If you died right now, would you be happy with the current state of your life: no... cause I gotta pee.
33. Favorite smell on yourself: The pink caress soap.
34. Favorite smell on the opposite sex: Tommy or Polo Sport
35. 10 years ago, were you better or worse than you are today: lol way better today... I got contacts
36. Favorite day of the year: Summer soltice
37. Thing that you regret the most: I wasted a few of my younger years I think.
38. Hot or cold: Cold... its easier to put clothes on. Once you're naked if you're still hot... there's nothing you can do.
39. Favorite memory: snuggling on the couch in front of a fire during heavy rain drinking hot chocolate
40. Least favorite memory: being in the hospital with a broken arm
41. Drive or walk: driiiiive
42. Do you have something hidden in your home: lol yes *blush*
43. If you could see the world in one color for the rest of your life, what color would it be: sepia... that always makes the pictures look good I guess
44. Food that you would kill someone for: Macaroni and Cheese... although I'd hardly have to kill since it only cost like a dollar a box.
45. Something, that at the thought of it, makes you want to vomit: A cockroach in someone's mouth
46. If you could choose, would you live your life with or without money: lol what kind of question is that...
47. Big or small family: Party of two, nonsmoking.
48. Ever walked in on your parents having sex: Thankfully no
49. Favorite piece of clothing you own: fuzzy robe
50. One superficial item in the world that you want: McLauren F1... or my own private island
51. Love or money: Love... always.
52. Person you've had the best sex with: mmmmm don't get me started thinking about that
53. Do you wear your watch on the right or left wrist: left... but I rarely wear a watch
54. Love or hate your computer: Love it... unless its being bad... then I have to spank it.
55. Would you rather live in the past or the future(literally): Past... the world is only getting more ignorant
56. Band you would literally kill to see: There are no bands I would kill to see... seeing isn't important in music...
57. Deodorant brand: Secret... I prefer to smell like baby powder.
58. Most amount of money you've spent on 1 thing: Duh... college. I just got my bill in the mail yesterday.
59. Love or hate your cell phone: Love it... but I don't really talk on the phone a whole lot.
60. Overall feeling you get when you look at your parents: Wow they're strange... but I still love em.
61. Movie you would have killed for a walk-on role in: Office Space
62. Embarrassing pet name for your significant other: Pumpkin
63. Something you literally could not live without: electricity
64. Sweet, salty, or sour: Depends, am I pregnant?
65. Person in your youth who you wished you could have kicked in the face: I have a long hit list... Cody Lamb made me cry one too many times.
66. Favorite sibling: lol if you only have one does that mean they have to be your favorite... juuust kidding. Timmy.
67. Least favorite family member: The ones that pretend they don't have a family... that's just rude.
68. Something you've read (book, magazine, quote, graffiti, bumper sticker ...etc.) that's stuck in your mind right now: I dunno... but I think about Kermit the Frog for way more than what is considered a normal amount of time.
69. Dream pet: A jet black horse and a pure white horse.
70. Would you rather be blind, deaf, or paralyzed from the neck down: Gesus H. Christ.... I'm not picking one of those... out of the three I'd rather have a weird fungus.
71. Favorite video game: Tetris... lol I know thats sad... I haven't played video games since that one was created for Nintendo... oh so long ago.
72. Read the book or watch the movie: Depends on which one is better... not all books and movies are created equal.
73. Favorite cartoon ever: I loved My Little Pony... yes there was a My Little Pony Cartoon... oh and Animaniacs.
74. If you had your choice, would you rather be an adult or a child: Adult... I was a geeky kid.
75. Favorite thing that someone's ever given you: What I got for Valentines Day *grin* but I can't tell you.
76. Most painful injury you've ever gotten: I was in too much shock when I broke my arm to feel it... so I'm gonna go with the kidney stones... yeah that's something you DO NOT ever want to feel.
77. Is there a person you regret letting go: Lindsay Martin... maybe had we stayed friends she might be somewhat normal today.
78. Favorite type of meat: is seafood a meat? or is it just seafood...
79. Strangest thing you keep around for sentimental value: a walnut
80. Strangest place you've ever been: lol I'm gonna get in trouble for this but... Chad's family reunion.
81. Name the most annoying person you've ever met: Summer... man she was dumb
82. Do you believe in soul mates: Yes, although they are not necessarily the same person as your true love; although true loves can be sole mates too... good thing I don't think people are limited on the number of sole mates they can have.
83. Mexico or Canada: I'm gonna go with Canada... they may talk funny and their jaws definitely aren't normal on Southpark but at least you can drink the water up there.
84. Country you would most like to visit: Austrailia
85. Are you a mean person: depends on what time of the day it is around 2:30 to 3 pm... don't mess with me.
86. Do you believe in organized religion: Yeah... but don't drink the cool aid they pass out
87. Favorite thing you've ever given someone: a BJ hahahahaha
88. Worst gift you've ever gotten: I love brownies... but come on people I don't want to bake them myself. Brownie Mix... a lot of it.
89. Longest you've gone without sex: See question number 5... I think that's long enough.
90. Longest you've gone without masturbating: I honestly have no idea... a week maybe.
91. Name a famous person you'd love to stab in the neck: Paris Hilton... she's so worthless
92. Do you think you annoy people: Maybe if I'm overly happy or the opposite of overly happy.
93. Strangest thing you've ever seen on a plate: squid bits still squiggling around... thanks to Fear Factor.
94. Favorite time of day: Naptime
95. Show that you wished you had Tivo for, or that you use Tivo on constantly: American Idol... I'm hooked.
96. Favorite person in the world: Chad
97. If you could do one thing for an entire day, what would it be: Snuggle with laundry right out the dryer.
98. What or who would you ever go to prison for: As the saying goes, a good friend will bail you out of jail, but a great friend will be sitting right next to you... well... not everybody was meant to be great.
99. Yes or no: Yes?
100. Honestly, did you think these questions were a waste of time: Well yeah... but I'm at work... I'm a student assistant... what else is there to do haha
2.10.2005
2.06.2005
She was Beautiful
The Bride, Groom, and Me
Two of my closest friends exchanged vows a few hours ago to become husband and wife. It seemed to be the wedding of her dreams. How would I know?... that's easy. I can't tell you how many times when we were younger, Raymie, Lacey, and myself would spend the night at each others house and lay awake for hours talking about what we wanted that day to be like.
Lacey and Me
Raymie is the first of the three of us to get married and make those conversations more than just a young girls hope. She has always been one of the most beautiful persons to me, a friend that no matter how much time lapses between the times we see each other, nothing changes. Her husband, Josh... well he's a clown with a love for people that is so sincere and unselfish. We all went through the most important years of our lives together. I can remember sitting in rocking chairs for hours, holding signs for a car wash, and trips to Acquire the Fire and Lake Authur all packed together in one van. So many memories. I admit, I cried when Raymie came walking down the aisle with her father and was given away to Josh. I knew that he was perfect for her and she was perfect for him.
The Bridal Party
I think everything went okay without a major problem, with exception to Raymie's bouquet having technical difficulties while taking pictures beforehand. Raymie was surprisingly very calm, which I was grateful for. I think the hardest thing to do is try to calm a bride if she is upset about something right before her wedding. The ceremony went absolutely perfect and I enjoyed being able to spend the last couple of hours getting dressed and dolled up with my best friends.
Getting Ready for the Wedding, Lacey & Raymie
The funniest part during everything was at the rehersal dinner the night before the wedding. Josh's family traveled from Mexico and California to help prepare the dinner. Some of them did not speak english and some could understand although they could not speak it. Stacie, being the one to oversee many of the details behind this entire wedding and understandably mentally fatigued, wanted to get some more coke. So she asks, rather loudly, "How do you say Coke in Spanish?" and one of Josh's relatives leans over, looks at her rather intensely, smiles and says "Coca Cola". It was sooooo funny.
The Wedding Cake
The reception hall, was a gymnasium miraculously transformed. It was absolutely amazing all the details and things they did to turn the place into such a beautiful atmosphere. When Raymie threw her bouquet, Lacey caught it because she was taller than me... my hands were riiiiight there. Being the good sport and knowing that I really am the next one that will be getting married, she graciously gave it to me... besides... if I was taller I would have caught it anyways. The guys... now they have absolutely no excuse... a 7 year old walked off with the garter.
Thanks to the generosity of time and energy from so many, I can honestly say, this has been the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to.
Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Josh and Raymie Mejia... I love you both.
2.02.2005
Anger Management
Contributed by MAM
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window . so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. When I got there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each
other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.
NOW, I feel better - This is "Anger Management" at its very best!
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window . so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. When I got there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each
other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.
NOW, I feel better - This is "Anger Management" at its very best!
I Like to Steal...
...Jeff's Surveys off his blog...
1. Your name spelled backwards: Elgiad Aihtnyc
2. Where were your parents born? Dad is from Bayou Country and Mom is from Mississippi... you need passports to visit both.
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? If I tell you... I could get in trouble with the FBI or get slapped with a lawsuit or something sooooo... you'll have to just wonder.
4. What's your favorite restaurant? Any place that serves a. shrimp b. chicken strips or sandwich c. french fries d. ice cream
5. Last time you swam in a pool? Many moons ago... many many moons ago. My paleness can testify to that.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? lol I think I was an endangered Black Bear cub. I was the Virgin Mary in almost every play for church.
7. How many kids do you want? ZERO
8. Types of music you dislike most? I woke up the other morning to my alarm clock playing the worst country song on earth... so I'm gonna go with that.
9. Are you registered to vote? Of course... I'm an AMEEERICAN *said in good ole' boy pullin up the pants way*
10. Do you have a car? Yes. Deep Red Saturn SL2... they call it the Daigle Mobile. Steven's is nicknamed The Sex Machine. Adam calls his temporary cause he wants a truck. Chad calls his cooler than mine... but his still shuts down at a certain speed like everyone elses.
11. Have you ever ridden a Mo-ped? Who rides one of those things and actually lives to tell about it...
12. Ever prank call anybody? Sadly... no. I've never rolled anyones house either...
14. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving? No thanks... I'll watch someone do it with my feet firmly on the ground.
15. Furthest place you ever traveled? By myself, Tyler TX. I know not very far at all. Shut up.
16. Do you have a garden? I don't personally have a garden cause I don't ever plant anything in them myself... but at my house... we have rose gardens.
17. What's the size of your bed? Super single. It's somewhere inbetween twin and queen. They don't make that size anymore.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes... unless I've had a drink or two.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Most likely a bath cause I like bubbles... no particular favorite time of the day.
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? I'm so lame when it comes to movies... very rarely will I say a movie completely sucks.
21. What's the next movie you want to see? I'd like to attempt seeing "Meet the Fockers" again.
22. Chips or popcorn? Depends on the mood, and who is willing to get it for me.
23. Have you ever broken any hearts? Yes... it sucks
24. Premarital sex? What kind of question is that...
25. Are you a good cook? are you kidding... homeless people wouldn't beg for my cooking.
26. Orange or Apple juice? I'm not a juice kind of girl but I'll drink apple juice every now and then.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you go? I think the last time was lunch with Jeff at Walk-On's and then the Ice Cream Store
28. Favorite type of drink? Dr. Pepper & Cherry Coke
29. Best thing in the world? Fresh warm laundry to lay on
30. Have you ever broken a bone? I've broken my right arm, a toe, my left ring finger
31. Have you ever won a trophy? mmmhmmm... baseball, gymnastics, school trophies including an ostritch egg, and many girl scout badges
32. What is your favorite board game? Candyland
33. What is your dream car? McLauren F1
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? No... but I did just recently purchase a Clapper from Wal-Mart.
35. Coke or Pepsi? Coke... even though someone told me that its the cause of all the diseases in the world.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? I was a McDonalds girl at the age of 16... back when the uniforms actually looked decent.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Desogen
38. Who are you going to marry? The man that put the ring on my finger.
39. Who would you like to meet? The person who's going to finance my breast reduction.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? No... I love sappy movies as much as the next girl but I'm not a complete hopeless romantic.
41. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex? Sense of humor, compassion for others, loyalty, honesty, responsible... physical features are important but if you don't have a great personality... you won't be attractive
42. Where would you go for a romantic evening? Lakeside park bench
43. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 30+
44. Last song stuck in your head? "Feels like Home" from the How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days Soundtrack
45. Any pets? Yes... Anna the Basset. She wasn't feeling too good today :(
46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? SNL... how can you pick just one?
47. What is one thing you would like to learn to do? I would love to, but don't seem to have the capacity, to play a musical instrument
48. What do you do when you are bored? Probably something dorky like scan negatives... like what I'm doing now.
49. What is one thing that you would want someone to appreciate about you? That I tend to be a very devoted friend.
50. What is one thing you're grateful for today? That I have my mom to take care of me when I'm sick even though I'm a grown up... she made me a sno-cone to make my throat feel better.
1. Your name spelled backwards: Elgiad Aihtnyc
2. Where were your parents born? Dad is from Bayou Country and Mom is from Mississippi... you need passports to visit both.
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? If I tell you... I could get in trouble with the FBI or get slapped with a lawsuit or something sooooo... you'll have to just wonder.
4. What's your favorite restaurant? Any place that serves a. shrimp b. chicken strips or sandwich c. french fries d. ice cream
5. Last time you swam in a pool? Many moons ago... many many moons ago. My paleness can testify to that.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? lol I think I was an endangered Black Bear cub. I was the Virgin Mary in almost every play for church.
7. How many kids do you want? ZERO
8. Types of music you dislike most? I woke up the other morning to my alarm clock playing the worst country song on earth... so I'm gonna go with that.
9. Are you registered to vote? Of course... I'm an AMEEERICAN *said in good ole' boy pullin up the pants way*
10. Do you have a car? Yes. Deep Red Saturn SL2... they call it the Daigle Mobile. Steven's is nicknamed The Sex Machine. Adam calls his temporary cause he wants a truck. Chad calls his cooler than mine... but his still shuts down at a certain speed like everyone elses.
11. Have you ever ridden a Mo-ped? Who rides one of those things and actually lives to tell about it...
12. Ever prank call anybody? Sadly... no. I've never rolled anyones house either...
14. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving? No thanks... I'll watch someone do it with my feet firmly on the ground.
15. Furthest place you ever traveled? By myself, Tyler TX. I know not very far at all. Shut up.
16. Do you have a garden? I don't personally have a garden cause I don't ever plant anything in them myself... but at my house... we have rose gardens.
17. What's the size of your bed? Super single. It's somewhere inbetween twin and queen. They don't make that size anymore.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes... unless I've had a drink or two.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Most likely a bath cause I like bubbles... no particular favorite time of the day.
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? I'm so lame when it comes to movies... very rarely will I say a movie completely sucks.
21. What's the next movie you want to see? I'd like to attempt seeing "Meet the Fockers" again.
22. Chips or popcorn? Depends on the mood, and who is willing to get it for me.
23. Have you ever broken any hearts? Yes... it sucks
24. Premarital sex? What kind of question is that...
25. Are you a good cook? are you kidding... homeless people wouldn't beg for my cooking.
26. Orange or Apple juice? I'm not a juice kind of girl but I'll drink apple juice every now and then.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you go? I think the last time was lunch with Jeff at Walk-On's and then the Ice Cream Store
28. Favorite type of drink? Dr. Pepper & Cherry Coke
29. Best thing in the world? Fresh warm laundry to lay on
30. Have you ever broken a bone? I've broken my right arm, a toe, my left ring finger
31. Have you ever won a trophy? mmmhmmm... baseball, gymnastics, school trophies including an ostritch egg, and many girl scout badges
32. What is your favorite board game? Candyland
33. What is your dream car? McLauren F1
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? No... but I did just recently purchase a Clapper from Wal-Mart.
35. Coke or Pepsi? Coke... even though someone told me that its the cause of all the diseases in the world.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? I was a McDonalds girl at the age of 16... back when the uniforms actually looked decent.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Desogen
38. Who are you going to marry? The man that put the ring on my finger.
39. Who would you like to meet? The person who's going to finance my breast reduction.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? No... I love sappy movies as much as the next girl but I'm not a complete hopeless romantic.
41. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex? Sense of humor, compassion for others, loyalty, honesty, responsible... physical features are important but if you don't have a great personality... you won't be attractive
42. Where would you go for a romantic evening? Lakeside park bench
43. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 30+
44. Last song stuck in your head? "Feels like Home" from the How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days Soundtrack
45. Any pets? Yes... Anna the Basset. She wasn't feeling too good today :(
46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? SNL... how can you pick just one?
47. What is one thing you would like to learn to do? I would love to, but don't seem to have the capacity, to play a musical instrument
48. What do you do when you are bored? Probably something dorky like scan negatives... like what I'm doing now.
49. What is one thing that you would want someone to appreciate about you? That I tend to be a very devoted friend.
50. What is one thing you're grateful for today? That I have my mom to take care of me when I'm sick even though I'm a grown up... she made me a sno-cone to make my throat feel better.
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