8.19.2005

Washington, LA... and other black holes of the Universe

Well... I got my first traffic ticket ever today. I was driving to Texas, had gone through Opelousas and was headed north on I-49 when over the hill was a waiting small town cop, just eyeing me for a source of revenue. I thought I was safe, my speedometer set on 75 in a 70mph zone. There's generally some leeway right? That opinion quickly changed when in my rearview, I watched him turn onto the highway and weave through the passing traffic behind my Saturn with his blinking lights. I don't think my heart has ever beat so fast or hard in my life. So I obliged, instead of taking the other obvious choice of outrunning him with my powerful twin cam engine, and pulled over. The officer walks around to my passenger side to talk to me and of course asks the obvious... "do you know why I pulled you over today mam?" Well, of course, I assumed my stunning good looks caught your attention and you just wanted to see if I was available right?! "I pulled you over because I clocked you going 79 in a 70mph zone"...

Now granted, my speedometer hasn't proven itself as entirely reliable, I've had a clean driving record for quite a few years now. I mean, come on, who survives parking at LSU for 5 years without a single violation *raises hand*... so needless to say... even given that there were 4 extra miles per hour tacked on the 5 miles per hour over I was already doing... 9mph over isn't really that big of a deal. People were passing me by... so what happened to them huh?

Anyways... I realized that I had broken the first rule of traveling on the road... I wasn't showing enough cleavage. A black male officer, I could have had that one in the bag... why oh why did I choose the comfy t-shirt instead of the low-cut sphagetti straps... oh yeah. I'm modest.

The thing I'm most pissed off about though, is that I've always wanted my first ticket to be something gloriously illegal... like giving my sweetie road head... but no... 9 miles over... that's my blaze of glory.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

He was prolly afraid of the vibrating Jesus face