The Bunnies are Coming

It's amazing how much a single comment by a complete stranger could be so thought provoking and inspirational. I admit, I have been slacking with my plans on world domination. They seem to have fallen by the wayside while I did more important things... like painting my toenails. I have to learn to focus on my evil plans better. With that in mind, I have devised a plot which involves an animal so frightening... even I shudder to gaze upon it.



All hail, the power of the cute and floppy eared bunny, with sharp pointy teeth.

Throughout history, the bunny has been a pest, a threat to agriculture, a loving pet, a holiday icon, a tender meat. Nature compensated for the weaknesses of the species and it evolved into a blood thirsty, cold hearted killer. This terrifying creature became super-intelligent and learned that it was something that was often mistaken by mankind, for cute and cuddly. It used its knowledge of the weak human nature and their need to pet all that is soft and furry, to lure victims into its caves. In medieval times, people were often warned to "run away" or face the consequences.



Many companies have successfully used the likeness of the bunny to brand their products. The playboy bunny, Trix cereals for kids, Energizer... just to name a few. Sometimes, however, it has been taken too far.

Recently, Wendy's decided to try and harness their power, in an attempt to develop a line of salads for the health conscious American to graze upon. They received footage from a camera crew which showed the bunnies in its natural habitat. The executives realized that "this was no ordinary rabbit" when they received the camera crew... in pieces. And you thought that was chicken in the salads...



Oh its a terrible, terrible thing for power to fall into the wrong hands... especially when they are mine. I'm giddy with excitement, yes... giddy. That's one of those gay words you see people who are slightly off psychological balance use on a regular basis. Anyways, I'm really excited about my plans. Of course, there are always those nagging questions and thoughts of things that could go wrong such as, Will Fedex refuse to deliver bunnies? How can I convince people with allergies that having a bunny is a smart move? And of course there's always the concern about the penguins. Are the penguins a threat to my power?