The Cat and The Crane Fly

"Bugs are eaten in your sleep." 

It's for the most part considered folklore or just highly improbable. That's not to say it couldn't happen, a heavy sleeper could experience just about anything including eating a bug but maybe just maybe, simply twisting the words to change the senario makes the statement entirely true. You are sleeping and indeed a bug gets eaten, just not by you.

In this case, a crane fly. The victim, my husband.*

My husband was snoring his butt off when the fly in question landed on his stomach and the 20lb killer furball laying in my lap saw it first.

I was unaware of the unfolding drama until mini-tiger immediately went into the pounce position and made THAT sound. If you have pets and know them well, then you know what sound your pet makes when it sees something it wants to kill and/or eat. A predator follows a simple rule, 'never take your eyes off your prey. Focus.' so figuring out where to look was not hard. When I saw the fly, my husbands life flashed before my eyes.

I took quick action to keep the beast at bay, at least for the time being. In those brief moments shoulder devil and angel made an appearance...

"He's snoring so loudly, you'll never be able to go to sleep. You've already asked him
three times to turn over to his side... Maybe this is just the jolt he needs..." 

"It's only because he's so very tired, how would you feel
if you were claw/mauled while sleeping?"

"Mangle! Murder! Mayhem!"

"He'll live and no doubt go back to sleep, maybe you will even fall asleep first... just let it happen... pain is temporary but being well rested can last the whole day!"

"Think about how grateful he will be when you tell him how you saved him while he slept.
It's incredibly thoughtful. Maybe he'll do something special for you in return."

"You're not letting me go. IT'S GONNA GET AWAY."

"SLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP... PRECIOUS SLEEEEEEPPP"

"You love him and he loves you. You shouldn't hurt the ones you love."

"I hate you"

At this time, I would like credit for saving my husband from becoming collateral damage/getting incidentally disemboweled while he was sleeping. I held fast and as the fly took off, I got the dirtiest look mixed with disappointment while the snoring continued undisturbed. I sent my husband a message that he would read upon waking up, briefly telling him how I saved his life and that he owes the cat a bug-hunting expedition, something they do together from time to time (yes, for real). As for me, well... I dreamed weird dreams as usual but the kiss I got on the forehead this morning before he left for work seemed extra special.

* No bugs or husbands were harmed in the telling of this story.