Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I came home from work and started getting ready to settle down for a quiet evening alone. I raided the pantry and decided to snack upon some Tabasco flavored Cheese-It's. Since I was digging around in the cracker area in the pantry, I realized we had two boxes of Saltines crackers. Having recently bought the new box of crackers and crackers not being something we eat frequently around our house, I knew the old box would be pretty full and fairly stale. So, I took the old box out the pantry and divided the remaining three sleeves, putting the crackers on the upside down frisbees I use as plates for our two dogs. I intended to put dog food on top but was sidetracked by another task, leaving the frisbees on the counter. Shortly thereafter, my husband stopped by to pick up some items for an evening hunt with a work buddy. He couldn't find an item and I guess the stop was taking a little longer, so his buddy came into the house just to see what was up. I froze in panic because as I was expecting to be alone for the evening, I was already "comfortably dressed" and I was too busy hoping a couch pillow and a Cheese-It's box would adequately cover how comfortable I was, to make much effort to have a conversation. I kept staring at the tv and it was only a few minutes until they were gone again. 

A couple hours goes by and my husband comes home for the night and we're talking about our days when he sees the Cheese-Its box abandoned on the coffee table and he says "Bob* said those were really stale crackers and we should throw them away."

I'm sure right about now you can imagine the expression of my face morphing "whaaaa? These crackers are perfectly fineoooohhhhhmygooooodddd he ate the dog crackers off the dog hair covered frisbee on the counter!!"

When my husband realized what happened, he said "I was wondering what the heck he was talking about when he said the crackers we had out on platters." and we both couldn't help but find tragically enormous amounts of humor in the unfortunate situation. We died laughing. 

I said, "you have to tell him!! I can't have someone thinking I serve terribly stale crackers to dinner guest I am obviously not having over since I was home alone!" My husband disagrees, thinking it's better off that his coworker never knows the truth. What would you do?

Sincerely,

Conflicted in Central

*names have been changed to protect the innocent victims. Also, I won't be serving cheese and crackers again anytime soon and THIS WAS NOT A DREAM.