As I Mature

I've learned that you can not make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. (that one's for you Michael Adam Miller)

I've learned that no matter how much I show I care, some people are just assholes. (too many people to mention here)

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. (don't I know it)

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs. (What if you have both!!! EWWWW!!!)

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others since they tend to be more screwed up than you think. (cheerleaders with eating disorders for example)

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. (gratefully I haven't learned that yet)

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. (or you're cute and short)

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. (or he knows how to cook)

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't workign in your house, one of your kids did it. (not applicable to me THANK GOD)

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. (that's why I have a human-sized fly swatter)

I've learned that sometimes something good will happen... if not tough sh@t. (yeah i didn't write that one... or any of them for that matter)