12 Types of Women

1. MISS. JUST COME OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP.
Advantages
a. Is well seasoned in holding down a relationship and looking after a man
b. Is keen to make it work this time
c. Knows the mistakes of relationships and is keen not to let them happen again
Disadvantages
a. Has a chip on her shoulder
b. Constantly looks out for the bad in ALL men
c. Her ex-man always calls her... and she has a soft spot for him.

2. MISS. BLING BLING
Advantages
a. Knows how to work it.
b. Fun & Exciting.
c. Oozes sex appeal
d. Always looking good
e. total whore in the bedroom
Disadvantages
a. Never brings her purse out with her
b. Always has 15 to 20 men saying hi before you've even got to where you're going
c. Her phone doesn't stop ringing

3. MISS. I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND
Advantages
a. Says all the right things in the beginning.
b. Will cook and cater for you.
Disadvantages
a. You will be her husband within 6 months (as far as she's concerned).
b. You will never be rid of her.
c. Calls you a liar and a bastard even though you told her you wanted nothing serious at the beginning.

4. MISS. HIGH ROLLER
Advantages
a. Has her own house and car
b. Good career.
c. Will show you some of the nicer things in life.
Disadvantages
a. Always reminds you of how badly you're doing
b. Constantly compares you to her high flying boss.
c. Never has anytime for you unless you're taking her to the most exclusive places.
d. Men bought her everything she owns

5. MISS. GHETTO FABULOUS
Advantages
a. Has your back and will die for you.
b. She can get you all the best CD's and mix tapes
c. Wicked in bed
Disadvantages
a. Kicks any girls ass that says hi to you
b. Answers your mobile phone
c. Doesn't get on with your mother or ANY of your female relatives.
d. She can't cook for shit
e. All her friends know every detail about your relationship
f. Has 15 kids

6. MISS. INTELLECTUAL
Advantages
a. She always has something interesting to say.
b. Always there, to give you advice.
c. Has a very good job.
Disadvantages
a. You can't get a trick past her.
b. She only does missionary, once a week if you're lucky.
c. She's very uncomfortable in a blues or any club that's not main stream
d. Wouldn't be seen dead eating a doubles on the roadside

7. MISS. TINK SHE NICE
Advantages
a. She is nice
b. Can hold a conversation
c. Got mad style
d. Says she's always been looking for someone like you
Disadvantages
a. She flirts with EVERY male species
b. Gives you shit if you don't get the best seat at the concert
c. Leaves you outside the club to queue whilst she walks in with her contact.
d. If you have an argument she screws someone else

8. MISS. I'M A RIGHTEOUS BLACK WOMAN!
Advantages
a. Will teach you about black history.
b. No other man will be able to get near her
c. Wants a nice family life
d. Will be the perfect mother for your children
Disadvantages
a. She doesn't listen
b. She's always right
c. Always wears a damn head wrap
d. Refuses to relax her hair
e. No chance of bacon for breakfast

9. MISS. NICE GIRL
Advantages
a. Will shy away from an argument
b. Will pay half when you go out
c. Will give you money for your bills, as she is constantly at your house.
d. Good church girl
Disadvantages
a. She secretly has had every thug in the neighbourhood.
b. After you full in love with her she turns into Miss I don't have a boyfriend
c. After 6 months you don't get no more sex
d. No blow jobs

10. MISS. PLAYA
Advantages
a. She's good in bed.
Disadvantages
a. She's had every STD going and blames you when you get it.
b. All her men friends are thugs
c. She expects you to believe all her lies.
d. She thinks she's a man.

11. MISS. I HAVE A JOB
Advantages
a. Of course...she has a job.
b. Doesn't have too many bad habits.
c. Will take care of you when you're sick.
d. Tells you that she's is in love with you.
Disadvantages
a. All she does is work and doesn't know how to have fun.
b. Thinks she can do without you, then cries, begs and pleads when you leave her.
c. Screws her boss

12. MISS. BEST FRIEND
Advantages
a. She's your best friend-you tell each other everything-you get along very well.
b. She can comfortably chill with you and your boys
c. She understands that men have faults and cannot be perfect.
d. Sweet and caring with a good sense of humour.
Disadvantages
a. She's ugly as hell