Current Location: Lost

Today I lost my best friend. We had a big fight and he threw me out of his life.

My dad sat with me and held me while I cried my heart out. I tried explaining everything through my tears and although he probably didn't understand a word I said... he understood me. It was the first time in a long time, he was able to be my dad. My mom stood by, offering her support and letting me know that I was loved. While they were holding me, trying to keep me calm and giving me much needed advice and comfort, I had some time to gather my scattered thoughts.

Many people have come and gone in my life, some important, some not. But there are those friends that change lifes entire course, that give you new meaning. They define who you are. Too often we pass by on opportunities to enrich our lives by stopping to say hello and when you meet someone for the first time, you aren't aware the impact they will have. You can't forsee the love that will grow for them. There are plenty of people that love and care for you, but their love means something so much more, it has such deep value that you wouldn't trade it for anything. It's unconditional love.

There are very few people that I open up completely to and this was someone that I could talk to about anything, who's opinion meant everything. When I was frustrated, when I was happy, when I had good news, when it was bad, when it rained, when I was bored, when I was half-asleep which is most of the time. I treasured this person with all my heart. He knew my every dream, my every passion, he understood me. There have been very few people to completely understand me. Loosing him has torn my heart into pieces, my spirit is completely drained. Why is loosing someone so hard? Why is it so hard to let go of someone? How does anyone who truly loves someone ever let go of them, is it even possible? You live life knowing that you will suffer loss, what makes some people much more capable of withstanding it than others. I know I tend to be sensative concerning such things and I've felt this pain before, but never so deeply. never.

...my world seems to be stopping. I wish it would stop. Then maybe I could get a few moments of blissful silence in my head. Even that would never bring me true peace, and the truth is, I can't hide my breaking heart no matter how hard I try. So world, continue to revolve while I sit here a while and try to figure out what happened.