Graduation

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything on here. Perhaps you're wondering why I've been lacking in my writing. Rest assured, it is not because I have had a boring life. In fact, quite the opposite. If I could have taken you on the rollercoaster ride with me over the last couple of weeks, I'm sure you would have been screaming to get off. Since, this is my life, I just had to strap myself in tighter and hold on because the only way I can get off is when it comes to the end of the tracks.

Last week, I achieved my life-long goal of graduating from college. I recieved a Bachelor of Fine Arts from Louisiana State University. I am 22, I am healthy (for the most part), I have a family that loves me, a fiance I treasure, friends that mean everything to me, and a job I am grateful for. Although sprinkled in the bed of roses are the thorns that prick me, the dissapointments and heartache, the beauty of life's accomplishments overcome the pain.

Let me begin with my story. My brother came home from New Jersey with girlfriend, Melonie, in tow. Having him home was wonderful. I had forgotten what it was like to have to share a bathroom with someone else and to walk through a cloud of his colone. The week would have been the same had he not stubbed his toe at least once. He found a way to top that by actually ripping a toenail off *rolls eyes*. So sad. His girlfriend was hilarous, somewhat naive of the ways of southern living, she went through the week with a big red "pick on me" target on her back. She is good for him. I hope that they find a way to make it back down here permanently.

I spent some of the week, forcing myself to relax. When I was not in Steven's pool, I was running a billion errands and completing the never-ending list of home improvement projects. Mom found two gigantic wooden columns which needed a little fixing. They were gorgeous. I had to show dad how to put sandpaper on a sander... every dad needs a daughter for such things. We put up tents, mom made a miniature golf course, we cleaned the house (I even got a chance to dust my multi-faceted room), worked on the columns, planted gardens... all sorts of odds and ends. UPS delivered a very important package to the wrong address... that was quite an agonizing ordeal. I went shopping to buy some business clothes and something to wear for the special day. I spent nearly $1000 in one day between that, all the stuff for the party, and then there was the swim suits (I FINALLY found one that fit right, but it cost my left arm and leg). All these things are completely unrelated because this is how it was... sporadic. Little details here and there add up to a lot that has to be done. A lot of the work was done on Thursday so that Friday could be spent enjoying my graduation.

There was little rest. I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep for two nights even though I was dead tired from the days work. The morning of, 2 minutes before we were supposed to leave, mom uses bathroom clorox cleaner thinking it was hairspray. We hear a lot of sqwaking coming from the back of the house and she runs out... her hair is completely white. Drama. The rest of the day was a magical blur. I drove Dad in my car to the morning ceremony. I was seated on the floor with the rest of the bachelor degrees, on the end seat of the center aisle. It was insanely boring, so instead of listening I was sending 5 billion text messages back and forth to Chad. I didn't get a chance to eat anything for breakfast so I was starving. I texted Dad to ask him to go get me some nachos.... we were in a basketball arena... I'm sure there were nachos somewhere. The coolest part of the ceremony was when the president of the entire university stopped the precession to shake my hand and congratulate me personally.

After that was over, Dad and I drove over to the President's office (were I was working for 2 years) to take a picture with him. We had little time, about 30 minutes to get that done and I had to get in line for the degree ceremony at the Union. After nervously waiting in line for an hour, we walked out, I was completely blinded by camera flashes as I walked to my seat. I sat on the front row, closest to the stage. My professors were right in front of me... the administrators of the torture I've endured for the last 5 years. I gloated. Blah blah blah... I want my diploma.

They call my name and my heart skips a beat as I walk up the stairs to the stage. I manage to blow my family a kiss, recieve my diploma and take several pictures without tripping over my feet. When I get back to my seat, I take a few deep breaths before I open my dipolma cover... there it is... my name. Amazing how important a sheet of paper becomes with the addition of a few letters.

These were my goals for the day. Graduate. Take a nap. See Star Wars. I'm happy to say, my goals were completed.

Things were very tense... the expectations of the day added up to a lot of stress. I know I had my moments and there were some very volitile situations. I'm sorry for that. I went to bed when I got home hoping that when I woke up... little faries would have already gotten everything I needed done for the party, done.

Such was not the case and I spent every spare minute getting things ready and set up for my guest. People began arriving and I was putting on my makeup. We had invited over 200 people, ordered jambalya for 75, bought 4 sacks of crawfish, arranged for a billion different desserts. When it all came together, I was severely dissapointed. The cake was beautiful, the food was great... but my heart was broken by the people who failed to show, including my own grandmother.

It was really difficult trying to appear happy when I was just trying to choke back the tears. The most important day of my life, thus far, and my "best" friends didn't even bother to call. Is it really that difficult especially with the advancment of today's technology, to dial 7 digits and say a few words. I can not express the pain in words. Just tears throughout the night.

I do not mean to sound ingrateful. There were people there to comfort me and show that they cared and I appreciated every one of them. Chad and I sat for hours after everyone left and peeled crawfish, talked with each other, a real conversation for the first time in months. Something happened then, the weight came off.

Since then I have been a different person... I told him things would change when I was done with school. We struggled for 5 years because of the lack of decent quality time together. I plan on moving in with him sometime soon. We will be looking for apartments together this weekend. We even talked about moving up plans for the wedding although I can not see that happening realistically yet. Things will be different even if that doesn't happen as soon as he'd like.

In conclusion, I'm sitting at my desk writing all this... going through all the emotions felt over the last few weeks with every letter typed. I'm reliving it at this very moment. The details of the memories will fade away as my life goes on, although, I shall never forget the important ones. I did it... and I am loved.