Pie in the Face

... and a honking clown nose.

That's right... some lucky person has agreed to let me
pie him in an effort to cheer me up over recent events.
The agreement goes as follows: The pie of my choosing
as long as I am wearing a honking clown nose at the
time of the pieing. I am consumed with a whirlwind of
possibilites... lemon meringe or chocolate icebox... both
have that precious cool whip on top that I would assume
making recieving a pie in the face an actual pleasant
experience.

Now what events have recently occurred that requires
the assistance of Mary Lee to cheer me up. Well... without
going into too much detail... to put it simply... I
unintentionally played God with someone's heart and hurt
them. They opened up to me and I used the situation and
now I've lost a friendship that I will probably never be
able to get back. If you know anything about me, my
relationships are the single most important thing in my
life. I can honestly say this is one of the stupidest thing
things I've ever done and I can't even explain how it all
happened. I'm sure the combination of PMSing, being
heavily medicated and in pain, and being stressed didn't
help my decision making capabilites. I know the situation
isn't entirely my doing... I was after all... going on my
own merry little way when this person walked into my life
and it does take two for anything... and by that I mean
misunderstandings.

Moreso what hurts is that it seems as if this person isn't
going to give it a second chance. Being a person that
always forgives others (even though sometimes it is hard)
I can't understand why this person won't even talk to me.
Its important to me to never let the sun set on anger.
That's something I've always believed.

Maybe someday this rollercoaster of confusion I'm on will
end... but more than likely it won't. Lately it feels to me
that I've been acting like someone I'm not... and I'm sorry
for that. I'm even more sorry that I've hurt you.